Hands All Over
by Ain'tNobodyWhoCanComfortMe
Summary: Each chapter will correspond to a song on Maroon 5's "Hands All Over". Eventual Cargan and Kames. Rated T for language.
1. Misery

**This is my first fic in a while, so bear with me. **

**I've had this idea for a really long time, actually. I would've had this done and up a lot sooner, I'm just a procrastinator. Sorry for that. **

**The main idea of this is a bunch of interconnecting stories. Each chapter corresponding to a song on Maroon 5's _Hands All Over _(Which is my favorite CD of all time. I listen to it almost everyday. I absolutely recommend listening to it). I have most of the chapters somewhat planned out, others I have no idea what I'm going to do for them. I might need your help coming up with ideas. (For those of you that are actually going to read this story and stay along with it. Which I hope is at least a few, I worked really hard on this chapter). The chapters are going to be all in order as the songs are on the CD. And there's going to be Cargan and Kames in it eventually, so whatever the main couple is in the chapter that is most recently out will be the characters displayed.**

**I also didn't expect it to be this long. When I first started out reading fanfiction, and there was a really long story, I always wondered how writer's could make them that long. But sometimes when you're writing, you can get carried away, which as you can see I did here. Sorry again.**

**I really hope you guys enjoy it and decide to stick along with it. That'll give me motivation to continue it. I won't be looking for a certain amount of reviews to continue, but reviews are always helpful. **

**Disclaimer: Big Time Rush is not mine.**

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><p><strong>Logan's P.O.V.<strong>

"Hey, Carlos? Can you quiet down and sit still please? We need to work on our song," I said as I tried to reason with him. He's just so hyperactive most of the time, and it's hard to control him.

But that's one of his many endearing qualities that I love about him. Like 'love' about him. Yes, I, Logan Mitchell, have figured out, a long time ago actually, that I'm bisexual, and I'm in love with Carlos. Don't ask me when or how it started, it just kind of happened. But that's not the matter at hand now. What is, is that I need to get him to concentrate on writing our song.

Gustavo had given us an assignment, somewhat like last time, in which we were paired off and were ordered to write a song for a chance of it to be the final song on our next album. Carlos and I are competing against Kendall and James for that spot. I had gotten paired with Carlos, whether or not that's good or bad, I don't know. And the whole writing part hasn't been going too well. I just can't get him to sit still for more than a few seconds. Frustrating is what it is.

"Oh, yeah! Sorry Logie."

Damn. There goes the use of that blasted nickname again. Carlos is really the only one that uses it anymore. But it still gets on my nerves.

"Carlos. How many times have I told you not to call me Logie? That's not my name. Call me Logan. Please."

He just looked at me with a hurt expression on his face. Goddamn. Those things that he can do with his eyes.

"Fine, you can call me that. But from now on, it's now reserved solely for you to use. Ok? I will only answer for you," Shit. That didn't come out right. I blushed as soon as those words left my mouth.

"Really? Thanks Logie! But you're right, we should get to work. Sorry for delaying us," He gave me the largest and brightest smile his adorable face could handle.

I just gave a small smile back.

"So, where do you say we begin? Lyrics?" I asked him.

He just nodded.

We sat in silence for a good fifteen minutes, each jotting down a few things that might help us.

"You have anything so far, Logie? Because I'm at a loss. What I have is just a mess of random words. Not very impressive, if you ask me."

I just stared at him in disbelief. "You actually have something?"

He must have noticed my surprise, because he just looked away, hiding his face.

"Is that bad?" How could he have possibly thought that that was a bad thing?

"No, no Carlos. It's more than I have, actually. I really don't have anything at all," I hesitated for a second before asking, "Can I look? I mean, at what you have so far?"

He wordlessly handed me his notebook. It was filled with his usual messy scrawl, but it was still legible.

I read through what he had, and I was pleasantly surprised. This was not what I was expecting from Carlos. At all.

I read over it a few more times before he broke the silence.

"Logie? What do you think? You've been staring at it for uncomfortably long now. Is it ok?"

"What do I think? Carlos this is fantastic. You think this isn't good?" He just nodded his head. "How can you not think it's good? I never expected this to come from you. You have a gift. How come you didn't use it last time? With Kendall?" He just shrugged his shoulders, and blushed, the red dusting his cheeks ever so lightly, but I chose to ignore it. And I meant what I said. I'd never expect something like this to come from Carlos, of all people, in such a short amount of time. I'm absolutely stunned.

"You really think so?" He asked, still, for some reason, doubting himself. I just nodded.

"And you know what Carlos? From what you have here, it gave me an idea on where to continue writing the song."

He looked like he was about to burst at the seams from being so happy at my compliments. Adorable.

He just stared at me expectantly.

"Well? Logie? How about we get going? And if we keep going at this pace, we can probably get this done either tonight or tomorrow. Right? We're so gonna beat Kendall and James..."

His voice died down at the last sentence. As if he was unsure of his statement.

"No, Carlos. We're totally going to beat them. You can be sure of it. And if we don't, I'll buy dinner for the two of us as compensation for the loss," Damn. What is wrong with me? I keep hinting at... certain things that I hope Carlos didn't notice.

"I don't know what that means, but I'm gonna say yes anyway. Because either way, it'll leave time for just you and me, won't it?"

My eyes widened and my whole face was dotted with what seemed like a permanent red stain. Damn you Carlos and the things you do to me.

"Y-yeah. Of course it will," I managed to stutter out. I used to be so calm and composed, but now look at me; I've turned into a stuttering mess. All because of one person.

"You ok, Logie? Your whole face is red," He asked while he came closer to me and put the back of his hand on my forehead, as if he was testing if I had a fever. I might as well have. I felt my cheeks heat up, but I don't think that they can get any redder.

"I-I'm fine, Carlos," I said as I reluctantly backed away from his touch. "Let's just get to work on the song. Ok?"

He put his hand down in his lap and just sadly nodded.

"Yeah... ok. I guess. Sorry for the inconvenience."

"No sorry necessary, Carlos. It's all ok. I promise. You did nothing wrong. Now let's actually continue writing," I said, feeling a little heartbroken at his expression.

* * *

><p>Carlos and I had been continuously writing for about an hour, when all of a sudden, James and Kendall had burst through the front door of the apartment, laughing their heads off. Carlos was the first to speak up.<p>

"What the hell is up with you two? What did you get into?"

Their answer was just them walking into their shared room, still laughing like I've never seen them before.

"The hell was that all about?" Carlos asked, a mix of confusion and laughter written on his face.

"I... don't know. And I really don't want to. But how about we take a break? Get some dinner? I'll pay," Wow. I felt generous tonight. So what the hell? Why not ask my love interest to dinner? Completely casual, right? Haha. No.

"But Logie, I thought you said that would buy us dinner if we lost. We haven't even competed yet."

"I'm not going to take no for an answer. I'm taking you to dinner. I don't care what you have to say. Plus, we're almost done with our song, and we don't have to have it in for a week. We can take a break," I hope I didn't come off too harsh on him.

"Sounds great!"

It didn't seem like I did. That's good.

"Let's go then! I have the perfect place for us to go to."

He just smiled as he went towards the front door and held it open for me. I just had to get the keys to the car, and I was set.

* * *

><p>Let me tell you that dinner was amazing. It wasn't the fanciest place ever, but the food was still great. And I got to spend extra time with Carlos. Which is always good in my opinion.<p>

When we got back to the apartment, for some reason, Kendall was in the living room, seemingly waiting for us.

"And where were you two?" He asked, his natural need to know  
>everything coming forth.<p>

"At dinner. Why does it matter?" I countered, feeling slightly proud of myself.

"You were at dinner? Just you and Carlos? For what reason?"

"I just took him out for a special occasion is all," It's true. Kind of.

"What's the occasion? You guys get married or something?" I could see he was trying to hold in laughter. Oh, and by the way, Kendall is the only person I've told about my crush on Carlos. And what he's doing now, he does it all the time. Just to piss me off. But I know he has good intentions, he wouldn't actually make fun of me for it. Besides, I know he loves James. He confessed to me after I confined in him about loving Carlos.

"No!" My face turned a dark shade of red. "We're not even of legal age to do that yet. We only went out because we're almost done with our song. All we need is the music to go along with it."

"Really, is that so?" I just nodded, refusing to say anything, "Well you're ahead of James and I, that's for sure. God he's stubborn. He refuses to listen to any of my suggestions. He just wants to do it his way and his way only."

"Tell me about it," I said with the most serious expression I could make without bursting from trying to hold in too much laughter.

Kendall beat me to it. He started laughing uncontrollably.

"What's so funny?" Carlos asked, coming from the kitchen. Wait, when did he get in there?

"You should've seen Logan's face, Carlos."

And, for some unknown reason, Carlos and I started laughing too.

When I stopped, I told Kendall, "If you actually want a chance against Carlos and me, then you better go and find James and straighten him out. You need to show him who's in charge. If you do that, I'm sure he'll listen to you from now on," I stood up, and basically shoved him out the front door.

"Even though he has no chance against us, right Logie?" He nudged me and I blush.

"Y-yeah of course. No chance. And I think that we've worked enough on it today, we can wait until tomorrow until we work on the music, and maybe even fine-tune the lyrics. Just to be safe?" That seemed more of a question than a statement.

"Sounds great, Logie. So what do you suppose we do now?"

"You don't have to stay here with me. You can go somewhere else, you know. I'm not forcing you to do anything."

"I know, Logie. But what if I want to stay here with you?" I blushed, hard. I'm seriously flattered that he wants to stay here with me instead of hanging out with some of his other friends.

"I'm flattered, Carlos, really. But seriously, go hang out with some of your other friends. We've been together all day, remember? And we have tomorrow too. So I'm fine on my own, you don't have to stay here."

"But I wanna stay here, Logie! Don't you get that? I thought you said you weren't forcing me to do anything. Kinda being hypocritical if you ask me."

He's right. Wait what? When did he learn that word?

He must have seen the expression on my face, because he answered without the question needing to be asked.

"I learned it from spending so much time with you, Logie. I'm not that stupid."

Did I ever say that? I might've implied it, though.

"No, no Carlos, I never said you were stupid, did I? And yes, you were right, I was being hypocritical. You can stay here if you want."

And he did. And it turned out great. We even did the fine-tuning we said we were going to do tomorrow. We're way ahead of schedule. Why didn't Gustavo pair us together earlier? We're perfect songwriting partners. We have perfect chemistry. We're perfectly in-sync with each other. Wow. I can't believe I didn't notice before that Carlos and I have so much in common.

I can only pray that he notices it, too.

* * *

><p>The next day, Carlos was awake already, and, for some reason, he was currently trying to wake me up from a very pleasant dream. And not the dirty type of pleasant. Perverts.<p>

"Logie, Logie wake up! We need to go and get our music done. You said we'd do that today! So come on!"

"Ugh, ok Carlos, I'm up. What time is it anyway?" I would've looked over at my clock, but my eyes are still blurry from sleep.

"It's almost noon, buddy. You seemed really tired last night when we were working, and you fell asleep on the spot. So I carried you back to our room and tucked you in."

I blushed. Hard. I looked away in embarrassment. But he didn't seem to notice.

"And as you can see, I didn't change your clothes or anything. I didn't want it to get too awkward. I hope that's ok with you."

"No, I-it's fine. I w-would have preferred it anyway. T-thank you," Damn stutter. The one I've been having lately around Carlos is a nervous stutter, I can tell. It's not my actual medically diagnosed stutter that I've been able to keep under control for years. Yes, I have a stutter. Only my family and Kendall, James, and Carlos know about it. I prefer not to tell anyone about it because it can get really bad. So bad in fact, that when I talk, I am barely able to pronounce words correctly. Or even get a sentence out without messing up more than half of the words that I say. But, that's definitely not the matter at hand here. What is, is that Carlos woke me up and is trying to get me to the studio so we can get the music done for our song.

I take a deep breath, effectively getting rid of my nervousness.

"Ok, Carlos. Just let me get cleaned up first and we'll be on our way. Now can you get off of me?" I can't believe I didn't notice that he had climbed on top of me. How oblivious am I? And luckily my stutter is not the only thing I can keep under control; otherwise it would be a very weird position for Carlos and me to be in.

Well, for him at least.

* * *

><p>I had just gotten out of the shower when I heard a loud thud and the sound of Carlos' pained scream.<p>

I didn't want to waste time putting on my clothes, so I quickly wrapped a towel around my waist and rushed out of the bathroom to find Carlos on the floor of our bedroom, clutching what seemed to be his wrist.

"Carlos! What happened? Are you ok?"

"It hurts Logie!" Was all he said. Well, more like moaned.

"What hurts? Please tell me so I can try and help."

He held out his arm, directing me towards his wrist. And oh my god...

I carefully took his wrist in my hands and examined it. I could already see it starting to swell and get discolored. It was most likely broken.

"W-what happened? What could you have possibly done in the short time I was in the shower to have this happen to you?" I meant that in the nicest way possible.

"I-I don't know. I was in the living room, and then I remembered I forgot something in here. So, being me, I ran in here to get it. And I tripped over something, probably my own feet, and I fell and hit the framing of my bed. But I've hit it on much harder things, and it's never hurt this bad before. I don't know what happened. Please help, Logie!"

"Well, whatever happened, we need to get you to the hospital."

He let out a pained squeak, effectively breaking my heart.

"W-why do I need to go to the..." He was cut off by his own scream. He screamed for a second time? That kind of scared me. Carlos usually has a very high pain tolerance, and seeing him like this, in so much pain and actually complaining about it, that's not a good sign. It definitely is a break. And a bad one at that. And the framing of all of our beds is reinforced steel. And to hit something like that. Ouch. Hitting anything like steel always seems to be worse than if you hit anything else.

"See? That's what I'm talking about. You broke your wrist; we need to take you to the hospital."

And, for some reason, I just now realized that I was still only in my towel.

"I'll be right back. Don't move."

I rushed back towards the bathroom, got dressed, and rushed back to where Carlos was, still on the ground, still crying out in pain.

"Come on, Carlos. It won't take that long to get there. You can make it. It'll be alright," I said as I tried to coax him of the floor.

He got up, slowly I might add, and held onto me for dear life.

"It just hurts so much, Logie! Please get me to the hospital, I need it so much."

"I will Carlos, I promise. Do you think you can make it to the car yourself?"

He just nodded.

Oh, and by the way, Carlos and I are the only ones left in the apartment, from what I can tell. I have no idea where the other ones are, but if they were here, someone probably would have come rushing in at Carlos screaming. None of our friends are that inconsiderate.

I wrote a note, telling everybody else where Carlos and I were going to be, just in case somebody came back and wondered where we had disappeared to.

* * *

><p>Yep. I was right. Carlos' wrist is most definitely broken. And it is most definitely a bad break. But what I wasn't expecting is what the doctor said to Carlos and me next.<p>

* * *

><p>'Come on, Kendall, pick up' I thought to myself as I was pacing back and forth in Carlos' hospital room.<p>

"Logan! Dude! What the hell happened? Why are you and Carlos at the hospital?" Well look who found my note.

"I don't really have time to explain. I just need your mom to get here as soon as possible."

"What? Why do you need my mom?"

"Carlos needs surgery, and we need the consent of a parent or legal guardian to have it done. So please, I beg of you, just get your ass over here and bring your mother with you."

"Oh god, I'm sorry. I know how you must be feeling right now. We'll be there as soon as possible."

* * *

><p>Carlos was out of surgery, thank god, and the doctor was currently explaining to James, Kendall, Kendall's mom, and I what they had done and what would need to be done for care after Carlos was released.<p>

"First of all, your friend will be fine. But he will be in pretty severe pain for a few weeks, one to two weeks max. And he will need to take these," He handed Kendall's mom a bottle filled with prescribed pain medication. "Every four to six hours, for the first few days, to help ease the swelling and the pain. The cast will be able to come off in about six weeks, the amount of time needed for it to heal properly," He paused, that's never a good sign, but continued, "And the last bit of information you guys need to know is that we fixed it by using rods and pins, along with his cast, the reason for it being that was the only way for it to have any chance of it healing correctly. The reason his wrist was shattered was because it had become extremely brittle. From you have told me, after so many years of damaging it against miscellaneous objects, it had become susceptible to something like this. It only took that one major hit to completely shatter it. The good news is that we managed to save it. So he will most likely recover completely. Although, the rods and pins will stay in for the rest of his life. And the only minor drawback is that he may have limited mobility in his wrist, even after the cast is taken off, until he gets used to having that limitation. Do any of you have any questions?"

No one spoke up. So I did.

"He's right handed, and as you know, he broke his right wrist. Will he be able to use it? Or will he need to use some other method?"

"I want him only to use it for school and things like that. But whenever he's not doing things important, I want him to rest it. Unnecessary activities could have the chance of damaging it even more. Oh, and when he showers or bathes, have him wear this," He handed me a roll of waterproof tape and a couple of plastic bags to get started. "Make sure he wears these before he comes into contact with any water. And he can remove them after he's dry. He can reuse the bags, but he might not want to, depending on his hygiene standards. If you want to buy new ones, they're available at your local drugstore. Any other questions?"

We all shook our heads.

"Alright then, I'll go sign his papers, and after that, he's free to go home."

* * *

><p>On the drive home, Carlos with me, the rest with Ms. Knight, I noticed three things.<p>

One, Carlos is almost a completely different person when he's in actual pain. He didn't say one thing on the way home; he just stayed quiet, save the occasional complaint or moan of pain.

Two, Carlos is not the type to be affected by anesthesia. He's not all loopy or anything. He's just plain old Carlos.

Three, purple is definitely his color. He got his cast in a shade of the color that just goes perfectly with his skin tone. He looks fantastic. Although I don't think he'd really appreciate me telling him that, especially since it would be after he got the damn thing on, and not before.

* * *

><p>I had sat him down on the couch, before the rest of our hectic household came back, and made sure everything was comfortable enough for him. I asked him if he needed anything, his response was just some water and his pain medication.<p>

He took those, a deep breath, and said something I wasn't quite expecting to come from him.

"I'm so sorry, Logie. I didn't mean for any of this to happen."

I stared at him with a look of disbelief on my face.

"What? No, Carlos. You have nothing to be sorry for. You did nothing wrong. This was all an accident. All that matters is that you're ok. Right?"

I turned a light shade of pink after realizing what I had just said.

"You're blushing again, Logie. Are you sure you're ok? You've been doing that quite a lot lately."

"Yeah, I'm fine. But let's get back to what you said. Why would you feel the need to be sorry about what happened?"

His expression changed almost immediately. It went from being almost happy to being, well, dejected.

"I... I don't really know how to explain it. It just upsets me that this happened."

"W-why does it upset you so badly? You do realize that it's going to heal almost perfectly, right? So there shouldn't be any..."

"It's not because of that! Don't you see? I'm fine with having this thing on, doesn't bother me a bit! What does though is that I've already let _you_down! What happened here more affects you than it does me."

"I, I don't understand..."

He took another deep breath, trying to calm himself down before talking again.

"I'm sorry for that little outburst there, Logie. What I was trying to say was that now that this thing is on," He gestured towards his cast, "I can't exactly do everything like I did before. And I don't know if that will affect our song production or not. And I kinda realized that it had some meaning to you, and now I've just gone and ruined our chances at winning. I'm so sorry."

"Wait, how does you breaking your wrist have anything to do with our song? It might put us back a few days, but we were way ahead of schedule anyway. We can wait for the pain to subside a little bit before working on it again, if that sounds good?"

I feel awful for him. He thinks he did something wrong, when that is the exact opposite of what happened.

"I'm still sorry. But I guess we can do that. If it's ok with you."

I just nodded.

"It's fine, Carlos, really. But why did you become so upset when in started to involve me?"

This time, he blushed.

"I, uh, no reason?" He said that as more of a question than a statement.

Wait. He blushed. And not me. What? When did the roles reverse? I laughed to myself without really realizing.

"W-what's so funny, Logie?"

"Oh, nothing. Well, maybe something along the lines of, 'You're blushing now, Carlos. Are you ok?' That ring a bell?"

To my surprise, his blush darkened to an almost impossible shade of red.

"Shut up. It's not funny. I can't help how I feel."

Wait. What?

I was about to speak up, and ask him what that meant, when Kendall and James finally decided to show up.

"Wow. So sorry we're late. Got caught up in traffic. God, Carlos, are you ok?"

"It's fine, Kendall. And yes, I'm ok. No need to worry, Logie's been taking good care of me."

I smiled at his compliment.

"Oh has he now?" Kendall said, smirking all the while.

"Yes, he has," Carlos retaliated. He paused, "Now where are your mom and Katie?"

"Oh, I actually don't know. They just dropped James and I off and didn't tell us where they were going. But if I had to guess, it would be something for you. You know, because of what happened. My mom always gets gifts for friends who have been injured seriously like you have. They're usually relatively expensive. Like seriously, they're really nice gifts. I don't know why she does it. Just expect something really nice tomorrow," He paused too, looking Carlos over, "No offense. You know, about saying 'seriously injured'."

"Oh, none taken. I understand. I brought this upon myself, no need to feel sorry for me."

Wow. Carlos was being surprisingly mature about the situation. I'm impressed. And slightly turned on.

Damnit. This was definitely not the time to be thinking like that. 'Control. You need to learn self-control.' I thought as I mentally slapped myself.

"Something wrong, Logan? You seem spaced out," Well at least Kendall noticed. But wait... Damnit. He had that damned smirk on his face again. He knew I liked this side of Carlos.

"Yes. I'm fine," I said through gritted teeth as I was trying to hold in my anger. Kendall really needs to stop doing this. It's like he's trying to expose my secret. I know his secret and all, but I'm not the type of person to flaunt it around like he does with mine. Ugh. Stupid Kendall.

Sometimes I regret ever telling him that I love Carlos.

But if he keeps this up, he'll regret ever telling me about his secret love. Let's see how that goes over with him.

He must be able to read me like an open book, because a soon as that thought entered my mind, his smirk disappeared and was replaced by an angry snarl.

"You better not be thinking what I think you're thinking," Wow Kendall. Way to be repetitive.

"Oh you know I am. So don't push your luck, buddy," Where did that side of me come from? Oh well, I sort of like it.

I could see Kendall fumble trying to counter what I had said.

Looks like he can't find one. Because he just storms off back into his room.

"Do you have any idea what that was about, Logan?" James had asked me, obviously somewhat concerned about what was happening between Kendall and me.

"I'm sorry, but it's strictly for only Kendall and me to know and for you to never find out," Even though I had just said I would, I would never tell anybody Kendall's secret. I promised him I wouldn't. That wouldn't make me a very good friend, now would it? Plus, I'm not that type of person who goes around telling other people's secrets.

"C'mon Logan. You can tell me. Kendall's been acting weird lately and I know you know why. So just tell me!"

"No James! He trusted me to keep his secret. And I honored that by promising him that I wouldn't tell anybody."

Wow. I really liked this side of me. Getting all defensive and what-not.

James just mumbled something under his breath and did exactly what Kendall did not even three minutes ago.

So that just left me and Carlos in the room.

"Logie?"

"No I will not tell you either Carlos."

"Fine. But my question wasn't about that."

"Oh. I'm so sorry. What was your question about?"

He stayed quiet.

"Oh, Carlos. I'm so sorry if I upset you in some way."

"No, you didn't. It's just... my _question_might upset you."

"I'm sure it wouldn't. So why don't you ask me?"

"Ok. I was, um, just wondering... I know I just got out of the hospital and all, and you know I feel really bad for what happened. I know you said we should wait for my pain to subside, but I really want to get back to work on our song. I don't want to get in the way of the production of it."

"Is that all? We can get back to work on it as soon as your wrist is feeling better. And if you're not in too much pain."

"It hurts a little, yes. But it's nothing too much for me to handle."

"You also have to remember that we can't do anything too strenuous."

"I understand. I really don't want it getting damaged even farther than it already is."

This time I didn't question his understanding of the word strenuous. I just went along with his previous answer of that he hangs out with me a lot. I guess he's done so long enough that he's picked up on some of my vocabulary.

Good for him.

"Is it alright with you if wait until tomorrow? It's fair to say that we've both had a rough day, so why don't we just relax for the rest of the night? We can get back to work as soon as both of us are ready tomorrow. That sound good?"

"It sounds perfectly fine, Logie. I'm getting kinda tired anyway. Can I have that plastic bag thing that's supposed to go around my cast? I'm gonna take a shower then go to bed."

"Oh, sure. Do you want me to put it on for you? That way you can know how to do it by yourself for future references."

"Oh, um, yeah. Cuz' I really don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"Well it's really simple," I got up for a few seconds and grabbed the scissors from the kitchen, and went to sit next to him on the couch. "All you need to do is take two plastic bags, cut the closed end off both, slide them on your cast, and seal it shut with this waterproof tape."

"Oh, thanks Logie! That makes it so much easier."

He then stood up from the couch and walked towards our room, where the bathroom was, and stopping before he reached the door.

"Well, I'll guess I'll see you tomorrow. I really hope we can continue on our song."

"Oh, I know we will. So don't fret about that. Oh, and Carlos? I'll probably be asleep before you're out of the shower. I'm exhausted. So, goodnight."

He smiled.

"Night Logie."

I smiled back. He's such a sweetheart. God, I love him so much it hurts sometimes.

* * *

><p>True to my word, I had fallen asleep before Carlos had even gotten out of the shower last night. As I looked over at his bed, low and behold that Carlos had gotten up before me. It might be surprising, but Carlos is actually the one to get up the earliest out of all of us, Mama Knight and Katie, too.<p>

I don't understand it either. So don't ask.

I sat up in my bed, my hair was a mess mind you, and looked around the room like I usually do. Don't know why I do that every morning, I just do.

The only thing I noticed that was unusual was the tiny gift wrapped box at the end of Carlos's bed.

I scrunched my face up in confusion. I might as well go and take a look at what that might be.

So I did.

And it was Mama Knight's gift to Carlos, which Kendall, being the smart-ass that he is, already knew that's where his mother was last night.

It looks unopened though, which is unusual.

Just when I thought about taking the gift and trying to figure out what it was, Carlos came backing into the room, trying to quietly shut the door, wincing when it creaked. He probably thought I was still asleep.

I quickly put the gift back where I found it, trying to suppress a laugh when Carlos turned around, jumping when he saw that I wasn't asleep.

"Oh! Logan, you scared me! I thought you were still asleep. I came in here because Mama Knight said she put my gift in here when we were asleep last night. Said something about surprising me. Do you happen to know where it is?"

I stood there for a moment, liking that he called me by my name for once.

"I, uh, yeah. It's right here," My hands fumbled behind me, trying to find the mentioned gift. I found it and handed it Carlos.

"Thanks, Logie. Come into the living room with me. Mama Knight said she wanted me to open it out there," He mentioned towards the door.

I just raised my eyebrow at him.

"It's almost noon, Logie. You slept in again. Everybody else is already awake," He smiled, and I almost lost it right there.

Damnit. Why the hell have I been sleeping in so late lately?

Carlos had interrupted my thought process by tugging on my arm.

"C'mon Logie! Come out in the living room with me."

"Alright, alright. Just let me at least brush my teeth up and I'll be right out."

"Yay! Thanks Logie!"

"Yeah... no problem."

Why did he seem so happy whenever he was around me? Is it something other than what I'm hoping for? Or am I just that oblivious?

I never thought I would say this, but I hope that I'm oblivious.

If he's happy, I'm happy, too.

I paused, just thinking to myself about how that was probably the fucking cheesiest thing I've ever said. Oh well. No one has to know.

I've really developed a mouth recently, haven't I? Once again, oh well. Love makes you do crazy things sometimes.

* * *

><p>To tell you I was surprised when Carlos opened his gifts would be an understatement.<p>

Kendall wasn't lying when he said his mom got expensive and extravagant gifts for injured family and friends.

First of all, he got a really top-notch watch that he, for some reason, was looking at. And luckily for him, he wears watches on his left wrist, so his cast or anything else doesn't get in the way.

And secondly, he got a three hundred dollar gift card to any place of his choosing. So basically, a gift card to anywhere. I didn't even know that they had those.

* * *

><p>After all of that was done, Carlos asked if we could go to the studio and work on our song.<p>

I was about to complain, but he interrupted me by saying that I had basically promised him that we would work on it today.

I thought about it, and it turns out that I'm getting more and more forgetful, as well as more oblivious.

"Ok, fine. We can go. But I don't want you to work yourself too hard, alright? The doctor said that you had to take it easy, only doing things that are essential."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I'll be careful."

"Alright, let's go!" I said with a little too much enthusiasm for my tastes, although I let that one slide. I grabbed the keys, and held the door open for Carlos.

* * *

><p>Wow. I can't believe we're done. I can't believe it was that easy. I mean, it wasn't a cake walk, but it was easier than I thought it would be. I have more chemistry with Carlos than I do with James and Kendall combined.<p>

I wouldn't have gotten done in the time I already have if I was with either of them.

The song was not only done, it was actually pretty amazing if I do say so myself.

We are so going to kick James and Kendall's asses.

"We're so going to win this, right Logie? Then our song will get that one extra spot on our CD. James and Kendall will be so jealous. Especially James. I can't wait to see his face."

I could tell he was already starting to return to his old self. All over the place and what not.

I reminded him that he had to be careful. He stopped immediately. Guess he knows who to listen to. I know what'll happen if he damages his wrist even further.

"Sorry, Logie. Can we go back home now? I don't really like being here when we're not actually required to. It feels weird. Plus, there's like two or three people here. It feels empty."

"Yeah, let's go," I said, for the second time that day.

A few days had passed since then, and it was finally time for Carlos and me to present out song for the first time in front of other people.

But we chose to go second, just to make our victory that much sweeter. That may seem conceited, but what can I say? It's true. I just can't wait to see their reactions to ours. They'll most likely be blown away. They will not be expecting that.

Seriously? What the hell has gotten into me lately that's causing me to act so unlike myself? I need to stop this. I excused myself from the room, saying that I would be right back.

I was sitting on the bathroom floor, which surprisingly wasn't very dirty, and was just trying to calm myself down, thinking I was having an anxiety attack for no reason that I could explain.

I was thinking that I was going to stay in the bathroom for a while longer, when I heard a knock on the door.

"Logie, you ok in there? You've been in there for a while," It was Carlos, being the sweetheart that he is, coming to check up on me.

I checked my watch, shocked at all the time that had gone by. I scrambled to get to my feet, only resulting in a dizzying feeling from getting up too fast.

"What? Yeah, I'm fine, Carlos. I'll be right out. Just give me a minute."

I looked in the mirror to see if I was presentable enough. I was, so I took a deep breath to calm myself even more, and I opened the door, only to find Carlos waiting there for me.

"You alright? You seem tense."

"I'm fine, Carlos, I really don't know what came over me, but whatever it was, I'm over it."

"Are you sure? You really haven't been acting like yourself lately. I'm beginning to worry about you."

He worries about me? _Of course he does, he's your best friend, stop getting your hopes up._

"No need to worry, Carlos. I'm fine, really," I gave him a small smile.

He smiled back, God how I love that smile.

"Are you ready to go present now? I told everybody that you needed a few minutes, but you're fine now. So…" He trailed off, unsure of what to say next.

"Yes I'm ready to go. I'm sorry for the delay."

As soon as we walked backed into the recording room, Gustavo immediately said that if Carlos and I didn't come up with a better song than Kendall and James, then he didn't know what to do.

But as soon as he turned his chair around, I could tell that he noticed Carlos's cast.

"What, uh, what happened there, Carlos?" It wasn't surprising that Kelly was the one to ask that before Gustavo did.

"Long story short; I wasn't being careful, I tripped and I shattered my wrist on impact," He said that like it was no big deal. Which it really isn't.

"And where did all of this happen?" Kelly again.

"In my bedroom. But it doesn't really matter now, I'm fine, and there will be almost no lasting side effects. What does matter is that Logan and I are ready to perform our song for you guys. And trust me; it's a lot better than those two."

"We'll have to see about that. Now get in the recording booth. We don't want to miss any of it," Our producer had surprisingly said that calmly.

Once we were in, Carlos sent me a look. A look that I knew meant nothing less than 'you can do this'. And I knew we could. So once the music started, I just let myself get lost in it.

_Oh yeah_

_Oh yeah_

_So scared of breaking it_

_But you won't let it bend_

_And I wrote two hundred letters_

_I will never send_

_Sometimes these cuts are so much deeper than they seem_

_You'd rather cover up_

_I'd rather let them bleed_

_So let me be_

_And I'll set you free_

The first verse was mine, followed by Carlos joining me in the chorus.

_I am in misery  
>There ain't nobody who can comfort me<br>(Oh yeah)  
>Why won't you answer me<br>The silence is slowly killing me  
>Girl you really got me bad<br>You really got me bad  
>I'm gonna get you back<br>Gonna get you back_

I glanced over at him, and he had the biggest smile on his face. How many times do I have to say I love that smile of his? This time it was his verse.

_Your salty skin and how_

_It mixes in with mine_

_The way it feels to be_

_Completely intertwined_

_Not that I didn't care_

_It's that I didn't know_

_It's not what I didn't feel,_

_It's what I didn't show_

_So let me be_

_And I'll set you free_

Back to the chorus, and if I do say so myself, Carlos and I sound really good together.

_I am in misery  
>There ain't nobody who can comfort me<br>(Oh yeah)  
>Why won't you answer me<br>The silence is slowly killing me  
>Girl you really got me bad<br>You really got me bad  
>I'm gonna get you back<br>Gonna get you back_

This is sounding so much better than I thought it was. Which is surprising because I don't have that much confidence in myself.

_Say your faith is shaken_

_You may be mistaken_

_You keep me wide awake and_

_Waiting for the sun_

I had those first four lines, and I motioned for Carlos to continue, like originally planned.

_I'm desperate and confused_

_So far away from you_

_I'm getting there_

_I don't care where I have to run_

And for the rest of the song, Carlos and I sang in perfect harmony.

_Why do you do what you do to me, yeah_

_Why won't you answer me, answer me, yeah_

_Why do you do what you do to me, yeah_

_Why won't you answer me, answer me, yeah_

_I am in misery_

_There ain't nobody who can comfort me (Oh yeah)_

_Why won't you answer me_

_The silence is slowly killing me (Oh yeah_)

_Girl you really got me bad_

_You really got me bad_

_I'm gonna get you back_

_Gonna get you back_

_Girl you really got me bad_

_You really got me bad_

_I'm gonna get you back_

_Gonna get you back_

_Girl you really got me bad_

_You really got me bad_

_I'm gonna get you back_

_Gonna get you back_

Whew. Done. What a relief. That wasn't nearly as nerve-wracking as I thought it was going to be.

The music stopped and Carlos and I looked up to see the shocked faces of Kendall, James, Gustavo, and Kelly staring back at us.

Gustavo spoke up first. His reaction wasn't like anything I expected to come from him. He seemed genuinely surprised.

"I, I don't know what to say. I've never heard anything like that in my life."

We sat there in silence for a few seconds before Kelly spoke up, trying to make it clearer on what he was trying to say.

"It means he likes it, you two."

We just looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to confirm what Kelly said.

And that's just what happened.

"She's right. I've never heard anything like that in my life, but I'm actually pleasantly surprised at what you two have accomplished. I never expected this to come from you, but it did. So I guess that means that you guys get the spot on the CD. No offense," He said while looking to his side at Kendall and James.

"Oh, none taken. We're amazed at what you two did. I thought that this assignment would be easier than it was, and I thought that James and I did a good job, but yours was way better, right James?" I could tell that Kendall was trying to trying to hold back a smirk, because he and I knew that James probably wasn't taking this news too well.

I looked over at James. He actually looked better than I thought he would. He looked a little annoyed, but not angry.

"Yes. You two were… amazing," he said through gritted teeth.

I couldn't take it anymore; I busted out laughing, Kendall and Carlos joining in soon after.

"Are we done here?" Gustavo asked; suddenly back to his old self.

We stopped laughing at our producer's voice.

"Good," He stopped to look at Carlos and me, motioning with his hands, "Come out here will you?"

Carlos and I stepped out of the recording booth, stopping when we were in front of Gustavo.

"Congrats you two," He said while reaching out to shake our hands.

Wow. I have never felt this accomplished in my life. I've never felt this happy before. This is absolutely one of the best days of my life. I wouldn't trade it for the world.


	2. Give A Little More

**Wow. I am ****_so _****sorry that this took so long to update. I've just had so many things going on in my life recently. **

**I promise that the next chapter will be up a lot sooner than this one was because I've had the next chapter's plot in my head for a really long time now, so it shouldn't take that long to get it typed up.**

**I also thank all of you who favorited and story alerted this story. That felt really good.**

**But still no reviews? I know I said that I wouldn't require a minimum amount of reviews to continue, but it would be nice if I had some to accompany the favorites and alerts.**

**Once again, Big Time Rush does not belong to me. Neither does Maroon 5. But oh how I wish Adam Levine was mine...**

* * *

><p><strong>Logan's P.O.V.<strong>

It had been about two months since Carlos and I had released our song. It had gone a lot better than I expected it to. We even heard it on the radio a couple times. I didn't expect it to make it that far, not to the radio.

But almost as soon as the surprise wore off, it came right back with a vengeance.

"Oh my god! Are you being serious? Are you being serious right now?" I asked Gustavo on the opposite end of the phone. I almost couldn't contain my excitement. I had not expected anything like this to happen.

"I am being very serious. This is no joke. I almost didn't believe it at first. I had to ask a second time to make sure. Congratulations, Logan. Make sure to tell Carlos and the rest for me, alright?"

"I will. Thank you so much!"

As soon as we hung up, I couldn't help but let out a scream. Luckily no one else was in the apartment to hear that.

Why was this seemingly normal phone call so exciting? It was exciting because Gustavo had just called me to inform me that our recently released song had just hit the number one spot on Billboard Hot 100. I know; I'm surprised as well.

Not only that, but it was also nominated. Nominated for none other than the most prestigious award in music, and I can't believe I'm saying this, a Grammy!

Oh my god, I was freaking out. I had absolutely no clue that it was going to be this successful.

As far as I knew, this information wasn't leaked to the public yet. So for now it's just Gustavo and me.

I had gotten up and started pacing; grabbing my head with both my hands, trying to grasp the situation that had suddenly decided to presented itself.

"What's the matter, Logan? Why so frantic?" I heard a voice ask from the entrance of the apartment.

I turned around, relief washing over me when it was just Ms. Knight.

"I just, I just got some unsettling news," Her expression dropped.

"Why? What happened? Is everybody ok?" she asked as she rushed over to my side, grabbing my shoulders as if something was wrong.

"What? No. Everything's fine Ms. Knight."

"Ok, good," She paused, looking me over as to make sure I wasn't lying. "What's gotten you so worked up then?"

"I'd prefer to tell you, Katie, Carlos, Kendall, and James all at once. It's kind of a shocking bit of information that I don't think I could handle telling multiple times."

"Do you want me to call them all up here? I can do that if you want me to," She had asked, it seemed like she _really _wanted to know what my news was. So I decided to say yes to her question.

"Sure, Ms. Knight, it'd be good for me to get this off my chest as soon as I can," I took a deep breath and smiled.

* * *

><p>The rest of the apartment had been gathered, and they were all currently sitting around the living room, waiting for the news.<p>

"So what's this about, Logie? Is everything alright?" Carlos had asked, worry evident in his voice.

"Yes, yes, everything's fine, it's just that I recently came across some news," Kendall smirked, I shot him a look that said _'No Kendall, not that type of news' _before continuing, "What I mean is that I recently got a phone call from Gustavo, and he actually had good news for once, which is the news I'm about to tell you," I paused, taking another deep breath, "As you may or may not know yet, Carlos and I have recently made it to the top of the Hot 100 chart here in America," I looked around the room to see a room full of shocked faces.

"No, way, that's not possible. There's no way that this can be happening. Are you just playing some sick prank on us, Logan?" I knew James wouldn't necessarily take kindly to this news, but he needed to hear it.

"No, I am not," I smirked. And James just grabbed a pillow and held it to his face as he screamed into it.

"That's great news and all Logan, but there's something else, isn't there?" Kendall had asked while rubbing James's back in an effort to calm him down. _Those two would make such a cute couple._

"Carlos and I are, uh… we're..." I stuttered, trying, in vain, for something to say.

"Just spit it out, Logie. We're..?" Carlos had asked, his impatient side starting to show.

"We're all invited to the Staples Center in LA this coming February..?"

James's head shot up, his eyes wide.

"You didn't! Don't tell me…" He paused, and I smirked again, "You totally are! Oh my god, this is great news! Are you sure we're all allowed to come? I've always wanted to go," He trailed off, murmuring incoherently to himself. Well his mood changed almost instantly.

"Wait, what's held in the Staples Center? What's this all about?" Kendall asked, finally taking his hand off of James.

"You don't, how could you not know?" James looked over at me, wordlessly asking me if he could tell everybody, I just nodded, "The Staples Center is where the Grammys are held almost every year! We're going to the Grammys!"

"Wait," Kendall looked at me, a smile now appearing on his face, "You mean to tell me that you and Carlos are nominated for a Grammy?"

"Yes! We are! Isn't it amazing? I was as shocked as you were when I first heard the news," I stopped for a second, only now realizing that James wasn't mad or upset, "Wait, James?"

"Yeah?" He asked, a smile still gracing his features.

"Why aren't you mad, or upset? You usually don't take well to news like this."

"Oh, I'm fine, really. I'm not mad because I've always wanted to go to the Grammys live instead of just watching them on TV. As long as I get to go sometime in my life, I'm content."

I was surprised at his answer. Why have all of my friends been maturing so quickly? There was Carlos a few months ago and James now. _It's your turn now, Kendall. I'll be waiting._

"One more thing, this information has not been released to the public yet, only us. So please don't go and tell anybody until it is. Can you guys promise me that you won't?" I knew that I could trust them; it's just that I needed a verbal confirmation to be sure.

"Of course you can trust us, Logie. Why would you ever doubt us?" Carlos. Damn. There he goes playing the innocent card again. I can never seem to get away from that one.

"I know, I shouldn't have asked. I'm sorry. I know I can trust you all. But feel free to tell anybody you want once the information _is _released."

"Oh, you don't have to worry. I'm sure James will be all over that," Kendall said, almost failing to hold in a laugh.

"Hey! So not cool! Although I'm not going to correct you because that is most likely correct," He stopped for a few seconds before speaking up again, "But Logan, seriously, you can count on me to not tell anyone beforehand."

I had almost felt like I was going to cry. How did I end up with the three most trustworthy people I know as my best friends? I have seriously never felt more blessed than I do now.

* * *

><p>It had been around three weeks since that day, and now that the news was out publicly, I was getting congratulated this way and that. My mom had called as soon as she found out, and she was on the verge of tears.<p>

"_There's no doubt that I'll be watching out for my little Logan on the TV this February. I'm so proud of you, honey!"_

"Thanks mom. You have no idea how much it means to me hearing that coming from you."

"_Oh, it's only natural, Logan. It's should be a mother's intuition to be proud of their child. I don't know how I could _not _be proud of you."_

I had to hold back tears, even though I knew my mom couldn't see them.

"You're my number one supporter, mom. And I thank you for that."

"_But what about your friends, aren't they supportive?"_

"Oh, of course they are. But you're my mom; you'll always be my number one supporter."

"_Thank you honey," _There was silence on the other end before she spoke up again, _"Something came up and I have to go now, Logan. I'll call you later. Love you."_

"I love you too, mom. Say hi to everybody back home for me, alright?"

"_Will do, honey. Bye now!"_

As soon as I hung up, I heard a thud coming from my room, followed by a string of obscenities coming from Carlos.

I rolled my eyes, it was probably nothing, but I felt obligated to go and check it out anyway. So I got up and knocked on the bedroom door.

"Carlos, is everything ok in there? Do you need any help?"

"Everything's fine Logan. I'll be out in a second," I heard a few more obscenities and some drawers closing before Carlos came and opened the door, a smile on his face.

"What, uh, what were you doing in there that was making so much noise, Carlos? I could hear you from the living room."

"I was just getting something ready for the both of us. You know, because of our recent achievement. You'll be seeing it soon enough, so don't go snooping around the room, ok?" His smile just grew bigger and I had to fight the blush off my face.

"Were you being careful? You still can't risk doing more damage to your wrist. It's still fragile," Even though it has been about two and a half months since Carlos broke his wrist, he still needs to be careful. He's surprisingly stayed out of any trouble since then.

"Logan! How dare you think anything like that! Of course I've been careful!" He pseudo gasped, holding his injured wrist to his chest as he did so.

"I was joking. I know you have. I don't think you wouldn't be careful, considering the pain you were in when it happened," His smile fell a little bit, and I just put my hand on his shoulder for extra reassurance, "Speaking of pain, how has your wrist been feeling? Has it been bearable?"

"Oh, I've had a little pain here and there, but yes, it's bearable. There's nothing to worry about," We both just stood there for a few seconds before Carlos spoke up again, "Hey, Logan?"

"Yes Carlos?"

"Can I be honest with you?"

"Of course you can. You can tell me anything."

"I know you and the rest of the apartment might be excited for the Grammys, but I'm actually kind of nervous. I've never been to anything as formal as the Grammys. And if I'm correct, I will most likely still have my cast on, how will that even look? I don't know what to do Logie," I could see that he was on the verge of tears, and I was heartbroken.

So I did the best I could to try and comfort him. I put my hands on his shoulders again, and forced him to look at me directly. I once again had to fight the blush off my face.

"Carlos. Don't get so worked up about this, we'll find someway to get through it, ok? I promise you that everything will be alright in the end. Just trust me on this," He tried looking at his shoes again, but I kept him from doing so, "And yes, you will most likely have the cast on still, but that doesn't really matter. The people already know what happened, I don't think that tiny little detail will derail the fact that the people still love and support you. Do you understand what I mean?" I felt brave, so I wiped the tear that had fallen off with my thumb. I could feel his cheeks heating up at the motion, but I just ignored it. It was probably due to the fact that he was now full on crying.

"Carlos! What's wrong? Why are you…?" Before I could finish my sentence, Carlos had launched himself at me and was squeezing me with a little too much force for my liking, but I didn't want him to get more upset than he already was, so I let it slide.

He mumbled something, but it was too muffled for me to understand.

"What was that? I couldn't quite make it out."

"I said thank you," He said as he detached himself from my chest.

"Thank me? For what?"

"For comforting me like that, I really needed it. I feel much better now. I'm still nervous, though."

"Don't worry about that, Carlos, I am too. And you know what?"

"What?" He asked as he wiped a few tears from his eyes with his sleeves, a smile trying to come back to his face.

"I honestly don't care if we win or not. It's an honor just to be nominated," I honestly _didn't_ really care. This whole thing came up out of a competition, so it wouldn't really hurt if we lost.

"You're right, Logie. It is an honor. And I don't really care if we win, either. This will just be a great experience for the both of us. Don't you think?"

I just smiled as I pulled him back into an embrace, wrapping my arms around his lower back. God I wish we could have more moments like this one.

"Having fun there?" Carlos and I bolted apart at the sound of Kendall's voice.

_Goddammit Kendall, can you just for _once_ let Carlos and I have a moment?_

I sent him and icy glare that transmitted my message to him without me needing to say anything.

I think he understood, because his smirk just fell from his face.

"I'll just leave you two lovebirds alone," He said as he walked away, that damn smirk I hate oh-so-much already back on his face.

After an uncomfortable amount of time, I realized what Kendall had said, and my face turned beet red. _We're _not _lovebirds, Kendall!_

Carlos and I just stood there awkwardly for a few moments before either of us spoke up again.

"I'll just leave now so you can get back to whatever you were doing before Carlos," I paused not exactly knowing what to say next, "I guess I'll see you later."

Just as I was about to leave, Carlos encircled my wrist with his good hand, effectively bringing me to a halt.

I inwardly groaned, but didn't want to let Carlos know, so I turned back around and waited for what he had to say.

"What is it, Carlos?"

"Can you just stay, Logie? I haven't really been able to go out and do the things I would normally do if I wasn't all injured. I've been craving human contact. I haven't had nearly as much as I would like for these past few months."

"It was never said that you couldn't go outside or hang out with other people, Carlos. It just said that you couldn't risk doing anything to further damage your wrist."

"But I don't really feel like going out right now. So can you please just stay and keep me company?"

It might have been obvious, but sometimes my heart ached just to spend time with Carlos. And now that he was right here, in front of me, pleading for me to do exactly what I've wanted to do for the longest time. I just couldn't say no.

"Fine, I'll stay. What do you want to do?"

"I think that we just need to catch up on things. We haven't had quality time in what seems like forever. I think the last time was almost three months ago. That's way too long a time to not hang out with your best friend, don't you think?"

"Yeah, you're right, let's do that. That sounds nice," Carlos was right, too. We haven't really had any quality bonding time in two and a half months. It's been far too long.

* * *

><p>Those few hours I spent with Carlos were probably the best few hours I've had in a long time. My mood is through the roof, I don't know if there's anything that could dampen it right now.<p>

But low and behold, I was wrong, wrong on so many levels.

As soon as I thought that both of us had nothing left to say, Carlos came out with a question that I never thought I would have to answer.

"Logan? Can I ask you a question? And can you be serious about it?"

Carlos was sitting on his bed and I was on mine, lying on my back and staring at the ceiling. I turned over so that I was facing Carlos and answered, "Of course, Carlos. You can ask me anything."

"It's kind of an awkward question, I don't want you to get upset over it, and I don't want you to get mad, either."

"I promise I'll try my best not to."

"Ok," He sat up in his bed, just facing forward, a blank expression on his face, "Logan? How do you feel about, um…," He swallowed thickly, obviously having a rough time finding the right words, but nonetheless continuing, "How do you feel about the gay rights issue? It's been all around the news lately and I've always wondered what my friends think of it. I've wanted to ask it for a long time now, I've just now gathered up the courage to ask it, you being the only person I've asked."

I was shocked at his question. For one, I've never seen him so shy and hesitant before, he's usually so outgoing. Secondly, the only person who actually knows about my views on those kinds of subjects is Kendall, but that makes sense because he's the only person I've ever told that I'm bisexual.

I have a feeling that Carlos will know in a few minutes if things keep progressing at the rate they are now.

"First of all, you don't have to be afraid to ask these kinds of questions, Carlos. I'm your best friend, you shouldn't have any limitations. My response to that question is I honestly don't think they should be treated any differently than straight people. There's nothing wrong with loving someone of the same gender, or loving both genders. Love is love, and it should be treated as such. If you're wondering, I have no problem with it," I softly chuckled, but continued, "If you don't mind me asking, why did you ask that question, anyway?"

"I just... I just wanted to know. The topic has been on my mind lately and it's been all over the news, I can't seem to get away from it."

I smiled, happy that he felt comfortable enough to ask me a question like this; I know it can be a touchy subject for some people.

"So how do you feel about it?" I asked him, a tiny part of me wanting him to accept because maybe that meant I had somewhat of a chance to be with him.

"Me? I feel the same as you, actually. That's good to know that we have another thing in common, right?" He has no idea how right he his.

I just smiled, turning so that I was lying on my back again.

I yawned, looking over at the digital clock on my nightstand, realizing it was getting late.

"Tired?" I heard Carlos ask me from across the room.

My response was just another yawn, crawling under the confines of my bed sheets and turning on my side, away from Carlos this time, feeling comfortable.

"I'll take that as a yes," I heard him say right before I drifted off; happy with what today's events had brought me.

* * *

><p>I awoke the next morning, finally feeling like I had enough sleep for once. I was feeling amazing.<p>

I stretched, got out of bed and then headed to the kitchen for breakfast, not caring that I probably looked like crap.

I was eating my cereal when Kendall and James decided to show up.

"Logan? Have you seen Carlos? James and I can't find him anywhere," Kendall asked, sitting down at the table with me, not bothering to get anything to eat.

"No, I haven't seen him yet, I just woke up. Where have you looked?"

"Just in the apartment, I don't think that he would go anywhere outside at this early an hour."

"There's always the possibility. Might want to go double check before you ask," I instantly regretted how I snapped at him, I was always a little snarky in the morning, no matter how much sleep I got the previous night. I sighed.

"I'm sorry for that, I'm irritable in the mornings and you should know that by now," Kendall let out a soft laugh, I'm guessing that means that he understands, "But seriously, I don't know where Carlos is. I just woke up, and I didn't feel like checking to see if he was in his bed or not."

"Yeah, I'm sorry for asking. I'll go look for him while you finish your breakfast."

"You go ahead and do that. After I'm done, I'll call him and see if I can get any info again that way."

Kendall nodded his head politely as he left the apartment, dragging a struggling and reluctant James with him.

I dialed Carlos' number, impatiently tapping my fingers on the table as I waited for him to pick up.

"Hey, Logie!" I breathed a sigh of relief knowing that he was okay.

"Carlos? Where are you? Kendall's been looking for you and he says that he can't find you anywhere."

"Oh, about that…" He trailed off before continuing, "I'm in the hospital again, but don't worry, it's nothing too serious."

I gasped, tears already threatening to fall.

"I'm fine, Logie. I was just having some recurring pain in my wrist that wouldn't go away, so I decided to come here. The doctors ran a few tests and I'm waiting for the results. I promise I'm fine. I didn't want you to start worrying, so that's why I didn't tell anybody where I was."

"Wait, how did you get to the hospital anyway?"

"I had Ms. Knight drive me. She had some other things to do, anyway."

"Do you want me to pick you up when you're done?"

"That would be good, yes. I'll be done in about an hour, alright? Please don't overanalyze the situation, Logie. I know how you can get. I promise you that if anything comes up, I'll call straight away."

I blushed, not really caring that I was because nobody was around to see me do it.

"I'll try not to, Carlos."

* * *

><p>Turns out there wasn't anything wrong with Carlos, it was just his medication. Apparently the one the doctors prescribed him at first weren't strong enough. So the prescribed a new pain killer and sent us on our way.<p>

"I'm so glad you're ok, Carlos. You scared me so much when you called and said you were in the hospital. I thought something bad had happened to you," I said as I pulled out of the hospital parking lot.

"I'm sorry, Logie. I never meant to worry you. I'll try not to do it again."

"No, you didn't do anything wrong, Carlos. I was just saying I was worried and now I'm glad that you're ok."

"So you're not mad at me for not telling you where I was?"

"Mad? No. A little irritated? Yes. But it's nothing too much to worry about."

"Are you sure? I really don't think I could handle being in a position where I make people mad. I don't like making people mad, Logie!"

"I know you don't, Carlos, and I'm not mad. I think it was a good thing you did, it kept the rest of us from worrying too much."

"Ok, good," He breathed a sigh of relief.

We stayed silent for the rest of the ride home, not having anything to talk about.

As we walked back into the apartment, we came to realize that it might have been empty.

"Hello? Anybody here?" I called out, checking to make sure my assumption was correct.

No answer. I guess I was right.

"Well it looks like nobody is home, Carlos. Do you have any idea where they went?"

"No idea. I wasn't informed either."

Well I guess Carlos and I are alone again. _Fantastic_, I think to myself sarcastically.

"Logan? I think I'm going to go lie down and rest for a bit. My new medication is making me kind of drowsy."

"That sounds great, Carlos. You go ahead and do that. I have a phone call to make anyway."

As soon as he closed the door to our room, I took my phone out of my pocket and called Kendall.

"Kendall? Where are you?" I laughed at the irony of the question, but continued, "When Carlos and I got home, you and the rest were gone."

"_Oh, we went… out, I guess you could say."_

"What do you mean by 'out'?"

"_My mom dragged us shopping, ok? But the good thing about that is you and Carlos are in the apartment alone together."_

I blushed, although I knew he couldn't see.

"Shut up, Kendall! He's probably not even awake now; his new medication was making it hard for him to stay awake."

"_I know, I know. I was only joking. Calm down. So what are you doing?"_

"Nothing really, Carlos is asleep in our room and all my stuff is in there. But I don't want to disturb him. So I guess I'm stuck in the living room until you guys are back."

"_You could always start writing your acceptance speech you know."_

"My _what_?" I asked, somewhat shocked at his suggestion.

"_You know, for the Grammys. There's no reason why you shouldn't start now. You can't doubt yourself, Logan. There's always a chance that you will win, losing isn't the only option."_

"Thanks, Kendall. I think I'll do that."

"_You're welcome," _I heard someone call out his name on the other end of the phone before he continued; _"I have to go now, Logan. We'll be back soon. I'll be looking forward to see what you have written."_

"All right, Kendall, I'll do my best."

When we hung up, I decided to do as Kendall suggested. But I realized that my laptop was in our room.

I got up and silently opened the door, only to find Carlos sprawled out on his bed, like how he usually is. I had to stop myself from staring. I shook my head, grabbed my laptop, and quickly walked out.

I settled myself on the couch and quickly got to work. I know we might not necessarily win, but there's always the chance. I don't want to show up unprepared.

* * *

><p>I didn't know writing a few simple lines was going to be so hard. I wrote one or two lines before I deleted them and started over.<p>

I was just getting on to something when Kendall and the rest finally decided to show up, effectively breaking my train of though.

"Damnit, Kendall!" I yelled, not really thinking about what I was saying.

"Logan! Watch your language!" I heard Ms. Knight yell back.

"Sorry. Won't happen again," I said sheepishly.

"Ok, good. Where's Carlos?"

"He was asleep last time I checked on him. Don't know if he's awake yet or not. Do you need him for something?"

"Not from him. He needs his rest. But I need your help to bring in bags from the car. You, Kendall and James go do that for me alright?"

"Mom," Kendall whined, "We had to endure shopping with you, why do we have to get the bags too?"

She just gave him a stern look, and I guess that was enough to convince Kendall that he should get off his ass and do as he's told.

"Ugh, fine," Kendall huffed, getting up out of his seat and motioning for James and me to join him.

* * *

><p>After that was done, we really didn't have anything we needed to do, so I decided to check up on Carlos and see if he was still asleep.<p>

I chose not to knock, not wanting to disturb him if he _was _still asleep.

I quietly opened the door to our room, peering inside at Carlos's bed, finding him still there, so I backed out and closed the door.

Good for him, he needs his sleep, life around the apartment has been pretty hectic lately.

After some thought on what I wanted to do, I just decided to get back to work on that speech that Kendall had suggested, but also interrupted, earlier.

I grabbed my laptop once again and got back to work.

It didn't take very long, because once I had an idea, and it was uninterrupted, it only took me around fifteen minutes to finish it. And it wasn't so bad if I do say so myself.

Carlos and I will have to go over it and memorize it for the big day, though. But it's nice to have the reassurance that it's there.

Just as I put my laptop back down, Carlos finally decides to show himself. He's a little scruffy, but it just makes him that much more adorable.

"How long have I been asleep, Logan?" Is the first thing he asks, plopping down next to me on the couch.

"About two hours, buddy," I say as nicely as I can.

"Wow, that's longer than I expected to be asleep for. What happened when I was out?"

"Nothing much, I helped Ms. Knight bring in the groceries," I paused, "Oh, and Kendall suggested that I write an acceptance speech for the Grammys for us."

Carlos just cocked his head to the side.

"Why'd you do that? Those aren't for another few months."

"I know, but I thought it'd be nice to have it beforehand, that way we'd be able to memorize it perfectly, just in case we needed it."

"Oh, that sounds great. Can I take a look at it?"

I just nodded my head in reply as I grabbed my laptop once again, opening it and showing Carlos what I had just recently finished.

He spent a few minutes looking over it, smiling as he did so.

"I like it, Logie. It sounds good. And it fits both our personality types. That way we won't seem so off character. Or is that completely off of what you were trying to accomplish?"

"No, that's about right. I wanted to make it sound like ourselves; it's not a good idea to put out a wrong impression at such a formal event like the Grammys."

I could see Carlos fidgeting in his seat.

"Don't you just love that word now? Grammys? It has a nice ring to it don't you think?"

I just smiled.

"It does, Carlos. It does."

* * *

><p>I can't believe it. The day is finally here. The Grammys are tonight!<p>

It's only early morning, but I can't help pacing back and forth in my room, thinking about different outcomes that this day might produce.

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the bedroom door.

"Come in," I say, not stopping my pacing.

"It's the big day, Logie," It was Carlos, "You're nervous, too?"

"So much. I don't know what we're going to do, Carlos. It's our first event of something of this magnitude, and both of us are nervous. How is that supposed to work out?"

"It will, Logie. I promise. Whether the result is good or bad, everything will be just fine. I'm as nervous as you are and you don't see me almost having a panic attack, do you?"

I stopped pacing, realization dawning on me. Carlos was right. I need to stop worrying so much.

Carlos must have noticed this, because he came up to me, grabbed my shoulders, and looked me straight in the eyes. It took every ounce of my self-restraint not to blush or look away.

"We can do this, Logan. Remember that night all those months ago when we both agreed that it doesn't matter if we win or lose tonight?"

I just nodded my head in reply.

"It's still the same, right? It still doesn't matter what the outcome is, it's just an honor that we were even thought about to be nominated. And I think that as long as we have fun, we'll be ok, too."

Wow. Carlos has been acting so mature about everything lately. I'm so proud of him.

"You're right, Carlos. I'm sorry I was acting like I was. I'm better now, though. Thank you for the reassurance."

He took his hands off of my shoulders, smiling softly.

"No problem, Logie. Anytime."

* * *

><p>I was fidgeting with my tie in front of the full length mirror in Carlos' and my bedroom – which was courtesy of James; he insisted that we have one in there – when Kendall walked in, already dressed and ready to go.<p>

"You alright there, Logan?" He asked, surprisingly in a normal tone for once, not in his normal teasing version.

"I'm nervous, of course," I let my hands drop, I could never figure out how to work a tie.

"Tell me about it," He came over to me and finished my poorly done attempt at the only thing left on my outfit that I needed finished.

"There, all done," He paused and did a once-over on my outfit, "You look great, Logan. You'll be fine tonight; you really need to stop worrying. Carlos told me you almost had a panic attack this morning."

"Yes. But I'm fine now, ok? I'm still nervous, like I said before, but not as much as I was this morning."

"Are you sure you're alright? We have to leave in like five minutes if we want to make it to the red carpet in time."

Oh right. I almost forgot. Before the Grammys even start, we have to go to the red carpet, which will most likely result in us being bombarded by paparazzi asking us questions, taking pictures and being their usual annoying selves.

I grunted in response, Kendall raising an eyebrow at my reaction.

"You gonna be ok there, Logan?"

I sighed, wanting to calm myself down before I get too angry.

"I'm fine, just got a little sidetracked by my thoughts for a second there," I said as I looked at myself one more time in the mirror, deeming myself ready for whatever tonight brings.

"You ready to go then?" He asks, a smile on his face.

"Yeah. I am."

"Are you sure? You do realize that Carlos is dressed all fancy-like too, right? Will you be ok with that?" He asked; the teasing tone to his voice coming back.

I just chuckled, ignoring Kendall's attempt at trying to embarrass me.

"I'll be fine, Kendall. I thought about that already, so I'm prepared. Now my question is, how will _you _deal with _James _being dressed all 'fancy-like' as you put it?"

I knew I hit a sensitive spot when Kendall glared at me, despite the fact that he was blushing.

"Shut. Up."

"I'm kidding, Kendall. No need to get angry."

He sighed, nodding his head.

"You ready to go for real this time, then?"

"Yes. I'm ready."

Kendall and I walked out the door, only to come face-to-face with James, Carlos, Ms. Knight, and Katie, who all are actually looking absolutely fantastic. But I can't help looking at Carlos a little longer. I look over and Kendall is looking at James the way I was looking at Carlos.

I jab his ribs with my elbow and he snaps out of his daze and he glares at me again.

"You both look great, guys," Carlos says, oblivious to both Kendall's and my predicament.

"Thanks, you too," I reply back. I wasn't just saying that to be nice.

When all of us were at the entrance to the Palmwoods, we were greeted by none other than a limo waiting for us.

"Are you kidding me? We get a limo?" James asked; a large smile on his face.

We've all been in a limo before; I'm guessing that this was unexpected for him, though.

"I wonder who had this arranged for us," James said again, wonder and a little bit of amazement in his voice.

It may or may not seem like it, but it was Gustavo, he personally told me that he would get one for us. I decided to keep that to myself though. Not wanting to ruin the excitement emanating from the group.

* * *

><p>The interviews and pictures at the red carpet weren't nearly as bad as I thought they were going to be. I was surprised, but we actually had celebrity fans of ours. I never would have guessed. I feel flattered.<p>

We were all now sitting at our assigned seats in the Center, waiting for our category to be called.

Carlos was sitting next to me, and he must have sensed my nervousness because he put his hand on my leg, trying to stop it from bouncing.

"Are you ok, Logie?" He whispered to me just as the crowd started cheering as the next presenter came on stage.

I hesitated before replying, "I honestly don't know why we accepted to come here. I feel like I'm going to throw up I'm so nervous."

"It's going to be ok, Logie. They're announcing our category now. If you still feel sick after we can leave while they cut to the next commercial."

I must have spaced out, because before I knew it, I was being pulled to my feet, not knowing what had happened.

Carlos must have sensed my confusion, because he just simply replied that we had just won.

Wait. We _won_?

I can't believe this, I seriously cannot believe this.

In the span of what feels like seconds, Carlos and I walk on stage, accept our reward, and walk off.

Once we get backstage, I have to prop myself up on Carlos because I feel like I'm going to faint. Not just from nervousness, but because of excitement and the nausea that was still there.

We were once again bombarded my paparazzi using their flashy cameras and never ending slur of questions.

I really hope I don't pass out. That would not be appropriate at a time like this. So I suck it up and answer all the questions I can before I feel the overwhelming urge to just go home and curl up in my bed.

So that's what we do.

* * *

><p>Once we get back to the apartment, I head straight to my room and for what feels like the first time, I jump into my bed and just lay there, not caring about my tux at the moment.<p>

I hear the door open, and soon enough I feel a dip in the bed.

"You handled that really well, Logan. You should feel proud of yourself," Carlos says, rubbing my back in an attempt to relax me.

I sigh, ultimately relaxing my body at Carlos's soothing touch.

"Yeah, I actually did better than I thought I would. You know you should be really proud of yourself as well, Carlos. It wasn't just me. Both of us contributed."

He took his hand off me, letting me get up into a sitting position.

"Where'd you put the award anyway?" I ask. I didn't know because I was too exhausted to stay and see.

"Oh, we decided to keep it in the living room until we find a case to keep it in our room."

Wow. We get to keep a Grammy in our room. A _Grammy_. I'm still kind of in shock that we won.

"That's awesome, Carlos," I'm interrupted by my own yawn, "I'm going to go to bed, Carlos. I'm exhausted. I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight, Logan," He said as he closed the door. I could feel him smiling as he left.

* * *

><p>I was awoken the next morning by Carlos gently nudging my shoulder.<p>

"Logie, time to get up. Gustavo needs us at his office immediately."

I get up, rubbing my eyes.

"Why does he need us?"

"He didn't say. All he said was that he needed you and me at his office immediately. He didn't give any specifications."

"Ok. Just let me get dressed and I'll drive us there."

* * *

><p>"Carlos. Logan. I called you here because I need you two to do something for me."<p>

"What kind of thing?" I ask, not really sure what he means by that.

"Since you two had such a successful night last night, I want you to write another song. But this time I want it to be for Kendall and James to sing. Since they didn't really have a chance against you two, you guys can use whatever you used last time and write a song that will fit their voices together. We have one half of the band already extremely successful; why not get the other half on the same track?"

"That sounds fun, doesn't it Logie?" Carlos asks, already sounding excited at the idea.

I just decided against arguing.

"Yeah, it actually does. We'll do it. When do you want it by?"

"Whenever you can get it done, I don't want to rush your genius."

Getting complicated by Gustavo, that's a first.

* * *

><p>Carlos and I had spent about the same time working on Kendall and James' song as we did on ours.<p>

We had informed them about the idea as soon as we got back from the studio a week ago. They were both immediately on board with the idea.

We were back in the studio, about to listen to Kendall and James debut their song for the first time.

"I'm so glad you and Carlos agreed to write this song for us, Logan. It turned out amazing."

"I hope it does," Gustavo said as he nudged Kendall and James into their respective places in the sound booth and started the music track for the song.

James started out.

_Now you've been bad, and it goes on and on and on_

_'til you come home babe, 'til you come home_

_You taste best, the poison I've learned to love is gone,_

_I'm all alone baby, I'm all alone_

Both of them join in for the chorus, just like Carlos and I did all those months ago.

_I'm waiting for something, always waiting_

_Feeling nothing, wondering if it'll ever change_

_And then I give a little more, oooh babe ohoh_

_Give a little more, oooh babe ohoh_

_I'm not falling in love with ya, I'm not falling in love_

_I'm not falling in love with ya, I'm not falling in love_

_'til I get a little more from you baby ohhh_

_Get a little more from you baby_

Kendall's turn now.

_You were wrong for turning me on and on and on_

_And on and on_

_You make it so hard_

He wiggled his eyebrows at the may or may not be innuendo.

Back to the chorus.

_I'm waiting for something, always waiting_

_Feeling nothing, wondering if it'll ever change_

_And then I give a little more, oooh babe ohoh_

_Give a little more, oooh babe ohoh_

_I'm not falling in love with ya, I'm not falling in love_

_I'm not falling in love with ya, I'm not falling in love_

_'til I get a little more from you baby ohhh_

_Get a little more from you baby_

Kendall had the next part because the first bit he had wasn't as long as James', and we wanted it to be as even as possible.

_I have no defense_

_I know you're gonna get me in the end_

_(gonna get me in the end)_

_And I cannot pretend_

_I never want to feel this way again_

They joined in for the last part of the song.

_I'm not falling in love with ya, I'm not falling in love  
>I'm not falling in love with ya, I'm not falling in love<br>'til I get a little more from you baby ohoh  
>Get a little more from you baby<em>

_I'm not falling in love with ya, I'm not falling in love_  
><em>I'm not falling in love with ya, I'm not falling in love<em>  
><em>'til I get a little more from you baby ohoh<em>  
><em>Get a little more from you baby<em>

They finished and Carlos and I immediately started clapping, proud of them for executing the song so perfectly and proud of Carlos and I for writing a song like that again.

"That was amazing. Good work again for writing it, Carlos and Logan. And good job Kendall and James for the amazing performance. I'll put it up on the airways as soon as possible."

Once again, this is one day I wouldn't trade for the world.


	3. Stutter

**Wow. I cannot say sorry enough to make up for how long this took to update. I have a valid excuse, though! The week of May 20th, I could not work on this at all. It was the final finals week for me. So I had almost no time to work on this at all throughout that whole week. Then there was the day I graduated. I was way too busy preparing for that to do anything that day. So yeah...**

**What I can say about this chapter is that it was very fun to write. I love the song that this chapter corresponds to, so I tried making this chapter a fun read for you guys. Also, this chapter is _very _Cargan heavy. You'll see why as you read it.**

**And for the next chapter, that's where I need help. Unlike these previous chapters, I have absolutely no idea what to do with it. I can't even think of a them or anything like that for it. So that's where you come in. You can message me or leave reviews for what you think I should write it about. And not to be prude or anything, but the faster those come in, the faster I can get the next chapter written. I don't want you to wait for as long as you did for this one. If you don't know it, look it up. It's called "Don't Know Nothing".**

**And just a little side-note, most of the italics are Logan's written words. Just wanted to clarify that.**

**Disclaimer: Big Time Rush and Maroon 5 do not belong to me.**

* * *

><p><strong>Carlos' P.O.V.<strong>

The day was finally here. I finally get to have this wretched – a word that Logan taught me – cast taken off.

It's been a miserably long eight months – _eight months I've had this thing on _ – I'm just so glad I can have most of my freedoms back. I'll still have some limitations because of the metal rod that I'll have to have for the rest of my life. But I can deal with that.

I've learned my lesson. From now on I'll take more precautions before I do anything that might cause my body harm.

I was sitting on the couch waiting for Logan to get ready so that he could take me to the hospital to get this done.

Now that I think about it, Logan has been taking me everywhere lately. Not that I'm complaining. I love spending time with him.

But I am also _in _love with him. Did I forget to mention that? I haven't told anybody but myself that I'm in love with Logan. I can't bring myself to tell anybody, even though I know that Logan is accepting of people like me. I don't like to call myself bisexual or gay. I actually label myself as pansexual. I fall in love with the person, it does not matter how they identify themselves sexually. And I just happened to fall in love with my best friend. I thought it would be easier to tell him because of that fact, but no, it just makes it that much more awkward.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't realize that Logan was standing right behind me, resting his hand on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry I kept you waiting. You ready to go now?" He asks; his signature dimpled smile on his face.

"Yeah, you don't know how long I've been waiting for this day to come. I'm so excited to get this thing off."

"I bet you are. I would be too if I had one on for as long as you did. You handled the situation really well, Carlos."

I love being complimented. I don't crave compliments, but when they come I welcome them with open arms.

"Thank you. That means a lot."

"You are welcome. How about we get going? I don't want us to be late. That usually doesn't sit well with doctor's offices."

"Understandable," is all I say as we head out the door and into Logan's new car.

I almost forgot. Logan has a car of his own now. Well with the money he's been saving and the money we've come into lately because of our career, it's not that much of a surprise, really.

It's not super fancy or anything, although he did buy it new. He said something about how he doesn't like driving a car that was previously owned by a complete stranger, he said that just makes him uncomfortable.

I take a seat in the passenger side in the front and just put my head back, enjoying the moment.

"What's the matter there, Carlos? Is everything alright?"

"Everything's fine, Logie," I reply, cracking one of my eyes open to see him looking at me, a concerned expression written on his face. I had to fight the urge to blush.

"If you say so," he says as he looks back over his seat, making sure he wouldn't hit anything when he backed up as he pulled out of the parking lot.

* * *

><p>"Carlos. Wake up, Carlos." I hear Logan say as he shook my shoulder.<p>

I must have fallen asleep on the way to the doctor.

I start to close my eyes again, wanting to go back to sleep.

"Carlos!" I hear him raise his voice, but not in a threatening way.

"Huh? What? I'm awake!" I say, suddenly very aware of what was happening.

He chuckles, but I can tell he's amused by my reaction.

"Let's go, then. Get that thing off of you," he says as he motioned toward my cast.

We walk into the front entrance and tell the main desk that we were here for an appointment.

"Alrighty then, I'll need you to sign these papers and then wait for your name to be called," the front desk lady says as she hands me a clipboard and a pen.

I don't know why we were able to do this without Ms. Knight's consent, considering Logan and I are both under eighteen. I'm not complaining though, it means less hassle for us to have to deal with.

"Carlos?" Logan asked, seeming hesitant.

"Yeah?" I reply, not knowing what was bothering Logan.

"You do know when doctors take casts off of people; they use a saw, right?"

I pale. I might have seemed like a daredevil to most of the people who know me, but something dangerous, like a weapon, like a saw – no matter if it _was_ small – coming that close to my body kind of terrified me.

"W-what? What do you mean?"

"What I mean is that the doctors can't just pull the cast off of you, so they have to cut a line up the side and then open and lift it off you. But don't worry, it's completely harmless. They do it all the time. Nothing will go wrong."

Just as I was going to ask for further information, I hear my name being called.

"Can you come in with me, Logie?" I ask him, I really don't want to be alone when it happens.

He wordlessly got out of his chair and motioned for me to follow him.

I can always trust Logan to be there for me when I needed him. That just makes me love him even more. I sometimes longed for contact with Logan, so this just made my day.

* * *

><p>Getting my cast off was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. The only thing that bothered me was the feeling of not having it on anymore. I was glad to finally have it off, it was just that it felt weird not having something there after I've had it for so long. Oh, and I also have a pretty nasty scar due to the surgery.<p>

"So how does it feel being a somewhat free man again, Carlos?" Logan asked me as we were walking out the front doors of the doctor's office. I understand what he meant by 'somewhat', with all the medical knowledge of his, he should know that I will have limited movement in my wrist for the rest of my life. But that's something that I can learn to live with.

"It feels good, Logan. I know I'll have to deal with the limitations brought in by the metal rod, but other than that, everything else is fine. It does feel weird not having it on anymore because I was getting so used to it, though."

"That's a normal reaction, Carlos. It's supposed to feel like that."

"I know. I was just stating my opinion on the matter. No need to correct me on it," I say, the words coming out a little harsher than I intended them to.

He paused, taking in my comment.

"You're right, and I'm sorry. I probably would have said the same thing now that I think about it," he looked like he regretted what he said, so I just dropped the subject and decided to forgive him.

"It's good, Logan. No harm done," I say, not wanting him to get too upset.

"Are you sure?" He asks. "I really didn't mean for those words to come out like that."

"I'm sure, Logan. Everything's fine."

He breathed a sigh of relief, his body relaxing as we got into his car again.

He just sat there for a few minutes, hands on the steering wheel, but not starting the car.

"Are you alright, Logie?" I ask, because he usually doesn't space out like this.

"Yeah, something popped into my head and I guess I got distracted."

"What is it?" I ask, wanting to know what was bothering Logan so much.

"Oh, it's uh, nothing much. I was just thinking about something that's been on my mind lately."

"Would you be willing to tell me? Or is it something personal that you rather wouldn't share?"

"I guess I can tell you, but you have to promise me that you won't tell anybody else."

"Cross my heart, Logie. I'm your best friend; you can trust me with any secret."

"Well… you know how you asked me how I felt about the gay rights issue thing a few months back?"

I hold back a gasp, not wanting to throw Logan off his guard.

_This cannot be happening, he cannot be about to tell me what I think he's about to tell me._

"Of course, Logan. How could I forget?"

"Well… I would partially hate myself if I hated gays."

_So he's bisexual. Interesting._

This time I didn't try to hold back my gasp. But before I could reply, Logan started to speak up again.

"I just… I can't help it that I'm as attracted to men as I am to women! I'm sorry if this offends you in some way, I just felt the need to tell you."

I just stare at him, my mind racing.

"Are… are you going to say anything?" He asks, tears threatening to fall.

"How long have you known?" I ask simply.

"That I'm bi? For a long time now actually…"

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? Have you told anybody else yet?"

"Only Kendall..."

Am I really hearing this right now? Am I _really _hearing this?

"You told Kendall first? I thought I was your best friend! You know you shouldn't be afraid to tell me anything, even if it is something like this."

"I'm sorry, okay! It was a spur of the moment thing. It just kind of happened."

"It just kind of _happened_? Is that your excuse? It just 'happened'?"

I was full on yelling now, I feel horrible for doing so, but I can't help myself. I feel betrayed. Why wouldn't Logan tell me something of this importance as soon as he found out? We've known each other for years, we're best friends, why would he just go and betray my trust like that? I'm furious.

He stayed silent as he shrunk back in his seat, taken aback by my reaction.

"Let's just go home and try to think about how to work this out later. I'm really not in a good mood right now," I say as I cross my arms and just stare straight ahead, not moving a muscle.

Logan wordlessly started the car and started to drive home. I could see tears streaming down his – I'm wondering if it would be appropriate to say beautiful – face, my heart breaking at the sight, wondering why in the hell I made him cry like that.

* * *

><p>It has been a few weeks since Logan and I had our fallout, and we haven't necessarily been on speaking terms since. Kendall and James have noticed this, I'm almost positive of that, I just wish that they would do something about it.<p>

I am in my room now, wallowing in my own self-inflicted depression, thinking of some way I could make it up to him.

My thought process is interrupted by none other than Logan opening the door. He must've thought I wasn't in here, or else he would've stayed clear of me completely.

My assumptions were correct, because as soon as he saw me, he started to walk back out the way he came.

"Logan, wait! Please listen to me; I want to talk to you!" he must have sensed the desperation in my voice, because he closed the door and sat down, albeit sitting in the farthest possible seat on the opposite side of the room.

"Are you going to listen?" I ask, and he just nods.

"I'm so sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it; I was just kind of hurt that you didn't feel like you could tell me first. You know you can trust me with any secret, right? You don't have to be afraid to tell me anything. Our friendship should be a no holds barred situation, shouldn't it? I feel really, _really_ awful for what I did. I should just let you know that I accept you fully and think no differently of you than I did before. Your sexuality doesn't matter to me. I don't know if you're ready to come out to the public yet or not, but if you ever do, I'll be there for you all the way," I say, somewhat out of breath after my semi-speech.

He is just staring at me, tears streaming down his face as he runs towards me, enveloping me in a bone-crushing hug.

I can feel his tears starting to stain my shirt, but I couldn't care less. All that mattered was Logan and I were back to the way we were before.

"Do you believe me, Logan? All of what I said is true, I meant every word."

"I-I, I d-do," as soon as the words left his mouth, he detached himself from my chest and clasped his hand over his mouth.

_Oh no. Not the stutter._ _Not again. Not now._

"Oh no, Logie, not that. Please tell me that's not what I think it is."

He just shook his head in reply, backing away from me, his mouth still covered with his hand and the tears are now coming full force down his face.

I can see his body shaking because of the violent sobs now wracking his body.

"Come here, Logie," I say as I reach out and wrap my arms around him and hold on like one of our lives depended on it.

I start rubbing up and down his back in an attempt to calm him down.

"Can you try talking again, Logan? Maybe that was just a one time thing," I suggest. I'm really hoping that his stutter isn't back. He was so ashamed of it when he was younger. He only told me, Kendall, James, and his family about it. He was afraid of all the ridicule that he might have gotten if he told anybody other than us. That's why Logan was a shy, quiet young boy. It wasn't because he wasn't good at making friends; it was because he was afraid. And I'm pretty sure he was expecting it to never come back, considering he had been managing it really well for a really long time.

"I-it's not g-going to go a-away a-any t-time soon, C-Carlos," he says as he detaches himself from my embrace.

Wow. It's even worse than I remember.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" I ask, unsure of what I should do.

He just shakes his head and walks over to the desk that sits in one corner of our room, grabbing a notepad and a pencil. Good idea.

He walks back and sits next to me on the bed, which I had moved to from my previous standing position. He writes something down and shows me after he's done.

_There's really nothing you, or anyone for that matter, can do, Carlos. It's out of anyone's league right now. I'll just have to wait and see if it passes like it did last time, and if it doesn't, that's when I'll go and see a doctor. But until then, please don't tell anyone. They'll find out soon enough after they realize that I won't be talking much anymore._

"Oh, Logan, no. You don't have to be afraid anymore."

_No, I'm not afraid, it's something different. I know that if I overuse my voice, there might be less of a chance for me to get it back. I don't want to strain things too much._

I pause, a thought occurring to me.

"Shit," I say. I don't cuss very often, so when I do, there's usually something wrong.

Logan just looked at me, his eyes widening and my choice of words.

"You know what I just realized?"

He just shakes his head in reply.

"Gustavo's gonna be _pissed _once he finds out."

To my surprise, Logan just started laughing. I want expecting him to laugh at a time like this.

He started writing something again, showing me again after he was done.

_I'm going to be honest; I can't _wait _to see his reaction. I know it won't be a good one, but it will be hilarious nonetheless._

I looked over at him, and from the looks of it, I really don't know why he was laughing just a few moments ago. His face was void of emotion, but he had tears still slightly trekking down his face as he just stared at the notebook in his hands.

I felt my heart break. I don't like seeing Logan like this. This is not how I ever pictured him to be. He never deserved this; he's too much of a good person to have something like this happen to him. Although I know that it can't be helped, it was never up to him. This situation has not only impacted his social life, but also his career. How can he sing now like he usually does – which is like an angel, mind you – with as severe a stutter as he has?

I'm so lost in my thoughts that I didn't realize Logan was nudging me, trying to get my attention.

"Carlos!" he said with a raised voice. I felt bad for making him use his voice at a time when he really didn't want to. I wasn't surprised that he didn't stutter, considering it was only one word, his stutter is really only noticeable when he tries talking in full sentences.

"What? Oh, sorry, Logie."

_I can tell that you're worried about me. I need to tell you that I'll be fine, if I got rid of my stutter once, I can do it again, right? I promise to you that if anything goes wrong, I'll be sure to tell you right away. I'll wait until after I tell you to tell the others. I know that when I did that last time it made you really upset, so I'll try not to do it again._

I just stared at the words for a few minutes before I spoke up again.

"It's just that… I don't think I could handle you not talking ever again. What will Kendall and James think? What will the public think whenever we do another interview and you don't answer any questions? Well, if it even comes to the last one…"

_I'll be okay if we have an interview when I'm like this. I'll just have you read my words for me. If they ask why, I'll tell them why I'm not actually speaking. And I think it's time that I come out to the public about my sexuality. I need them to know, if they can't accept me for who I am then they're not real fans. _

I just stared at his words again, shocked.

"Are you sure about that, Logie? I know the backlash you might get will probably be pretty severe. Are you sure you can handle that?"

_I'm sure. I mean, I know I already have haters now – not one musician doesn't – so I really don't see the problem about gaining a few more._

"That's a really brave thing to do, Logie. I'm proud of you. I only wish I could do the same…"

Shit. That did _not _just come out of my mouth. Well it's all out in the open now. Fantastic.

"W-what?" He stutters out, the look on his face enough to tell me that he was not expecting me to confess that.

"I, I, um… I _really_ didn't meant for that to be out in the open yet. It just slipped out."

I saw him scribbling something down on his notepad again, a blush spreading across his cheeks.

_What do you mean, Carlos? What did you mean you could do the same? And what did you not mean for it to be out in the open yet?_

"Ok. I guess it's time for me to finally tell somebody," I take a deep breath and confess everything. "I'm not entirely straight, Logan, and I haven't told anybody until now."

_So you're bisexual? _

"Um, no, and before you ask, I'm not gay either."

_So what are you?_

"Have you ever heard about pansexuality?"

He nods his head.

"I'm that. I'm pansexual."

To my surprise, he smiles softly.

_That's great, Carlos. I'm happy for you. So what do you say? Next interview we both come out to the public?_

"That actually sounds really good idea, Logan. But I think before we do that, we should tell the rest of the household first."

"Tell us what?" Kendall asked, standing in the doorway. Can he for _once _not eavesdrop on Logan and me? He always seems to barge in at the worst times.

"Um, nothing…?" I ask tentatively, hoping that Kendall wouldn't notice the notebook that was still in Logan's hands.

But be damned, he just happened to glance down and I'm guessing he knew what it was for because of what he said next.

"That… please don't tell me that's what I think it's for…"

Logan just blushed and lowered his head so he wasn't looking at Kendall anymore.

"Oh no… this is not good. This is not good at all. How bad is it Carlos?" he asked, panicked.

"It's uh… it's pretty bad Kendall. But please don't go telling anybody. Logan doesn't want anyone to know until we have our next interview."

"What about James? Should he be informed? And if not, at least tell my mom, she doesn't even know yet."

Logan tore our previous conversation out of the notebook before writing in it again and handing it to Kendall.

_You can tell James and your mom, Kendall. But please, don't tell anybody else. I really don't want this information out to the public yet._

"Oh, Logan, I promise that your secret is safe with me. I won't tell anybody else. And I'll make sure that James won't either, considering how much of a gossip he is. Or would you rather tell them yourselves?"

_Actually, I think I'd rather do it if you don't mind. _

"That's fine with me. Do you want me to go get them now or would you rather tell them on your own time?"

_Getting them now would be nice. I think it'd be better if I could get it off my chest sooner._

"Alright, I'll be right back," he said as he exited our room.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Logie? Things like this can be really hard to confess to people, even if you are really close to the both of them." I tell him, although he probably already knew that.

_I'm sure, Carlos. I really don't know why it's that big of a deal. I've been through this whole ordeal before. I think I can do it again._

"You were crying, Logan! Well in your case it was more on the verge of a breakdown rather than crying."

_I know that. And I regret acting so childish._

"I never said you were acting childish. I just meant that you usually don't cry. You might freak out at times, but you don't cry. So I was really worried when you started bawling like that."

"Who was bawling?" James asked as he, Kendall and Ms. Knight walked in. Finally Kendall's timing skills have paid off instead of just being an annoyance. He saved Logan and me from an awkward conversation.

I look over at him, silently asking if I could start this conversation. He just nodded.

"Logan was. He uh, he has something to… not really say, but more like show you."

I noticed that James had just happened to look down just like Kendall did a few minutes earlier.

"Don't tell me…" he said slowly, I'm guessing he was a little apprehensive at what was going on.

"Yeah, James, it is. It's back and it's actually worse than it was before."

Not really having anything to say, James just walked over and enveloped Logan in an embrace.

"What's going on here? What's back? And why is Logan looking so upset?" Ms. Knight asked. Oh right, she had no idea about this.

James let go of Logan so he could write something down in his notebook, Ms. Knight looking confused.

_My stutter, Ms. Knight. I know should have told you earlier, just in case it came back again. I've actually had a stutter most of my life, it's just that I've been managing it really well, so that's why it doesn't show up anymore. I don't know why it decided to rear its ugly head all of a sudden. It's actually really, really bad. That's one reason I didn't have much friends when I was younger, I was afraid if being made fun of._

"Do you mind showing me?" she asked, I could tell that she is somewhat in a state of shock.

"I-it's r-really b-bad Ms. K-Knight. S-see?"

I heard a collective gasp coming from all three of them.

"Do you need to go to a doctor? I can take you to a doctor if you need me to."

_No, Ms. Knight, I'm fine. I'm going to wait and see if it goes away on its own like it did last time. If it doesn't, that's when I'll go to a doctor. I told Kendall and Carlos this, but I don't want it getting out to the public yet. So please, don't tell anybody. _

"Considering your medical knowledge, I'll trust you on this one. And of course I won't tell anybody. James, I am putting a strict rule on that. I don't want to hear anything about this outside of this apartment. If I do, you will be in serious trouble."

"What? Why are you ratting me out? What did I ever do?"

"You're a gossip, James, you tend to spill secrets, even if you don't mean to," Kendall said.

"Yeah, I guess. But Logan, you can trust me one-hundred percent on this. I promise you that I won't tell anybody."

_Thanks, James, that means a lot._

After a few minutes of conversation, Kendall, James, and Ms, Knight finally decided to leave.

"I'm so proud of you, Logie. That was really brave thing to do."

_Thanks, Carlos. Now if you don't mind, I want to sleep now. I'm exhausted. _

I say nothing as I walk out the door, smiling softly. Logan's so brave. And I just love him so much. I hate unrequited love. It hurts. Logan shows almost no signs of loving me back. I'm hoping that he is holding something back, because I've decided I need to tell him how I feel, whether it gets reciprocated or not. And I might have a chance, considering he's bisexual.

* * *

><p>It's been a few weeks since that day, and sad to say, Logan's stutter has not gotten any better. It hasn't gotten worse, but it hasn't really improved, either. I am so worried.<p>

Logan's been showing signs of a nervous breakdown, which _definitely _means something is wrong, considering Logan's vast knowledge of medical stuff.

So that's why we're at the doctor's now, although it took some convincing on Logan's behalf.

_Why did you bring me here again? _He wrote down, an annoyed look on his face.

"Because your stutter won't go away? I thought it was obvious, Logan," I say, confused as to why he asked that. I thought he knew these kinds of things.

_I guess it is obvious; I just wanted to wait and see if it would go away on its own. _

"But it hasn't, Logan. It's been three weeks. I'm honestly starting to get really worried."

_You have nothing to worry about, Carlos. I'll be fine._

"How can I be sure of that? What if it doesn't go away? What will happen then?"

_I don't know what will happen. All I know is that I might have to learn to live with it if it doesn't go away._

That means that I might never hear his voice again. This is a bad thing for me, considering I love everything about him, including his voice.

He must be able to read me like an open book, because he wrote down a response to what I had just thought.

_No, that doesn't mean if my stutter doesn't go away I will never talk again. I will need to do vocal exercises to get it as far gone as possible._

"Ok, that's good," I paused, a thought occurring to me. "Let's say it doesn't go away, what will happen with the singing and our career?"

_I honestly can't predict that far into the future, Carlos. I guess we'll just have to see how it all works out. _

Just as he finished that sentence, Logan's doctor came and told us that he was ready to see us.

* * *

><p>Logan's doctor had surprisingly given me an idea on how to confess my feelings to Logan. Well, not directly at least. He said that there is a chance to get Logan's voice back to normal. He said that there might be a chance if Logan is exposed to some sort of emotional shock. That gave me an idea to confess my feelings in front of a crowd, I don't know how large it'll be, but I want the message to be heard. But no, not just telling him, but by song. I'm going to try my best to write a song – by myself this time – that conveys my truest feelings of affection. I just hope that he's okay with the idea of it.<p>

We've been pretty busy this week, we've had to work on our vocals without Logan of course, so once I get some free time, I grab a pen and paper and get to work.

* * *

><p>I have the first verse done – it took me about an hour, I want to get it perfect – when Kendall decides to walk in.<p>

"What're you writing there, Carlos?" He asked.

"Nothing," I say as I hide it behind my back, wanting to keep what I was doing a secret.

"Are you sure that it's nothing? You seem pretty eager to keep it a secret from me."

I so badly want to cuss him out right now, but I'm not the type of person to start yelling obscenities in a fit of rage. So I take a deep breath and calm myself down.

"Well, no, it is something obviously. But I really don't want anybody to know about it until it's done. It means a lot to me and I want to make it special. Can you please just honor that, Kendall, instead of nagging so much that you finally get your answer? Logan tells me about how you do that all the time, and it actually really upsets him. So please, don't press the subject any further."

Wow. I wasn't expecting something like that to come out of me.

"Come on, Carlos, you can show me," he said, completely unfazed by my statement.

I've had hit with his pushy nature. I'm tired of it.

"Goddammit, Kendall. Can you _please _just drop the damn subject and leave me the hell alone?"

He didn't look hurt, just shocked as he finally left the room.

I sighed as I put my head back and the plethora of pillows I had to prop myself up with on my bed.

* * *

><p>I had been working non-stop since then, thankfully with no interruptions.<p>

All I had really done was make small improvements to what I had already done before. Writing a song without Logan's help is really hard. Although I do think what I _do _have is picture perfect. I don't think I have to change anything on it.

I decided to put writing this song on hold for now, considering I was getting exhausted.

I got up out of my bed and I stretched, deciding to go get some food before I fall asleep.

I get in the kitchen, only to find Kendall sitting in the living room, alone.

I decide that checking on him is more important than getting food.

"Hey Kendall?" I ask. And as he turns to look at me, the look he gives me is enough for me to feel bad for what I did.

"Yeah?" he asks; his voice somewhat hoarse.

"Look, I'm sorry for what I said earlier. I really didn't mean for it to come out that harshly," I apologize as I sit next to him on the couch.

"No, you don't have to be sorry. It was my fault. I was being too pushy. That just seems to be part of my nature, if anything _I _should be the one saying sorry."

"I guess we're both a little at fault here," I said, silently debating to myself if I should just tell him what he seemed so desperate to know.

I know that Kendall is good at keeping secrets, so I decided to just get it off my chest and tell him everything.

"Kendall?" He looked at me, as if saying 'continue'. "I guess I'll tell you, but you have to promise me that you won't tell anybody. And I mean _anybody_."

"Of course, you can trust me."

"Well, I was… I was, um… I was _trying _to write a song earlier."

"That's it? That shouldn't be that hard to tell me, or anybody for that matter," he said, and I'm guessing he was confused due the tone of his voice.

"That's not the sole reason, though. I was actually trying to write it _for _somebody. I wasn't writing it just for fun."

This confession seemed to get his attention, because he was now staring at me intently, waiting for me to continue.

"If you don't mind me asking, who were you writing it for?"

"Logan…" I say quietly, my confidence suddenly waning.

"What? I didn't quite hear you, mind saying that again?" He asked.

"Logan. I was writing it for Logan! okay? Are you happy now?"

"No. I don't see the problem in writing a song for a friend."

"It's not…" I sighed, might as well just get it over with. "It's not because of the reason you're most likely thinking of. It's… for a completely different reason."

"And what's that reason?" He asked, he seemed genuinely confused.

"Um… I, uh… I kinda like him."

"Oh, well I like him too, and you don't see me writing a song for him."

Is he really that oblivious? Or is he just trying to piss me off?

"I'm in love with him, okay?" I said; my voice slightly raised.

"Oh, okay. I get it now. I understand and completely believe you," he said, seeming completely unfazed.

"You… you understand? How could you understand? And by the way you're acting, you don't seem like you're… well grossed out or anything."

"Why would I be grossed out? There's no reason why I should be, I don't see any problem with it. And for the reason I understand, well, I'll tell you that later."

What could he possibly mean by that?

"So you support… people like me?" I ask tentatively, not really sure how to word it.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I? People who see wrong in loving someone of the same gender, they really don't know what love really is. Some of the most loving relationships I've ever seen have been same-sex ones."

"That's… that's really reassuring to know that you care, Kendall. It means a lot."

"It's no problem at all, buddy. Now if you don't mind me asking, can I see what you have written so far for the song you were talking about earlier?"

"Only if you promise not to laugh at it," I say, embarrassed.

"Of course not. You've already written two amazing songs. Why would this one be any different?"

"The other two I had Logan's help with, which in this case I obviously can't ask him for. I want this song to be really special, but I don't have much and I've been working for hours on it."

"Great songs don't come easy, Carlos. If you want it to be perfect, just think of all the things that you love about Logan and it should just come naturally," he said, trying his best to reassure me. "Now go and get what you have so far, you've gotten me all excited about it. And you know, maybe I could help you write it. I won't do too much, considering I know you well enough to know that you probably want to do most of it yourself."

"Yeah, but I'll take the help if it's offered," I say to him as I walk back into my bedroom, grab what I have written, and come back into the living room to see Kendall waiting there for me. Maybe this won't be so hard after all.

* * *

><p>I realized after working with Kendall that it's actually a lot easier to write a song with a partner rather than writing, or trying to write one, by yourself. And true to his word, Kendall really hadn't done much, he just helped me now and then when I was stuck, giving me suggestions and ideas when I needed them.<p>

"Why don't we take a break? I think we got enough done that you'll be able to finish it on your own now. But if you need help, you can always ask me, alright?"

"Yeah, that sounds good. Thanks for all the help, Kendall. And you know what, I think I have an idea on what to do now, it might take a while, but it'll be perfect, just you wait."

"I'm sure it will, Carlos. I'm sure it will. And I can't wait to see the finished project. I really like the idea of how you're doing this. I think it's one of the most romantic things I've ever seen. I love it even more that it's between friends. It just makes it that much better."

Something I came up with is considered a good idea? I've never really had that happen before. I feel flattered.

"Thanks, Kendall. But is it really one of _the _most romantic things you've ever seen? I'm sure you've seen better."

"No, trust me. I honestly haven't. I wouldn't lie to you about a subject like this."

"Ok, I guess I believe you. But you have to promise me that you won't tell anybody about this. I _stress _that Logan definitely _can't _know about this beforehand. So please, don't go running your mouth. I can trust you not to, right?"

"Of course you can. I will not say a word about it. I promise."

* * *

><p>True to his word, Kendall really hadn't said anything to anybody. I would have gotten word of it if he did.<p>

And after weeks of working on it to make it perfect, my song is finally done. I don't think it could have turned out any better. Now the only part left is to actually perform it, which also happens to be the part I'm most nervous about. What if I forget the lyrics or something? There are so many 'what-ifs' that apply to this situation.

Me, Kendall, James, and Logan are now backstage at some talk show's – I forget which one, I don't really watch them – getting ready to do yet another interview.

I walk over to where Logan is, making sure nobody can hear me before asking, "Are you ready for this, Logie? We're not backing out on telling America what we planned on telling them, right?"

He grabs the pen and notepad he brought along, writing down his response and then handing it to me.

_I'm nervous about it, yes. But I really need to go through with this. I need to let the public know about who I really am. I'm not worried about the backlash because I'm expecting it. I know we'll probably get some hate mail, but I honestly don't care._

"That's… that's a really mature way to handle the situation, Logan. I guess I can say that I feel the same way. Now that I know your view on the whole… sexuality situation, do you feel alright about your stutter?"

_I have a feeling that will be one of the first subjects talked about, considering I'll be walking out there with a pen and notepad, and no doubt most people would notice that type of thing. So yes, I'm not afraid to face that, either._

I was about to say something in reply to that, but a loud voice interrupted.

"You're on in ten, boys! You better be ready by then!" the director's voice came bellowing at us.

"We can do this, Logan. okay? I have to go talk to Kendall real fast, but then I'll come right back here. So don't move."

I saw him nod his head in agreement before I ran off, looking for Kendall.

"Kendall!" I yell. He looks up from whatever magazine he's reading, and seeing me, he puts it down and motions for me to come and sit next to him.

"You ready to do this, Carlos?" He asks me. Although I'm not sure which matter at hand he's talking about.

"Yeah, I am, although I still can't believe they let me do this," I shook my head, trying to get back on track. "But there's something I have to tell you," he looks at me, as if saying 'continue'. "As I was made well aware, and I mean _well aware_, you know that Logan is bisexual," he nods. "Well, he told me, we got into an argument about how he didn't feel like he could tell me first, and then it led to me telling him that I wasn't straight, either. And me telling you that I like Logan, I guess you found that out on your own."

"Wait, what's the point of this? I already know this stuff."

"Logan and I have decided to come out to the public today about our sexuality. You know, they'll probably ask you and James about it, something the along the lines of if you knew about it beforehand, or if you're okay with it. And all I'm asking is for you and James to support it. I know you already do, but I know that being in the public eye can change a person's views in an instant. Is that alright with you?"

"Yes. Of course it is. I mean, it'll all be brand new news to James. He's never heard a word about it from either you or Logan. But I have no doubt in my mind that he'll be okay with it, James really isn't a spiteful person. He won't change his views on somebody because of their sexuality. And you two are his best friends, there's really no reason he could hate you."

"Thanks, Kendall. You always know the right things to say at the right times to say them. I have to go now, though, I promised Logan I'd be back before we had to go on. Bye!"

I faintly heard Kendall say something, but I was too far away to be sure.

When I found Logan, he was in the same spot I had left him.

"Hey, Logan. Sorry about the wait."

He scribbled something down again, showing me.

_It's fine, Carlos. Are you sure you're ready for this? I'm starting to doubt the confidence I had earlier. I just have a feeling that something… will happen that I'm not expecting to happen._

He doesn't know how right he is.

"You're being irrational, Logan. There's really only one talk show that does surprises, and I'm pretty sure the one we're on now isn't that one. So there's really nothing you have to be worried about. We've done enough of these to know if something will happen, right?"

I heard Logan sigh.

"Hey, Logan, I'm sorry."

_It's fine, Carlos. Really._

"Are you sure?" he nods. "Okay, good, we're on in less than a minute, so let's go."

He nods, and then grabs his pen and notepad.

"I'll try my best to 'translate' what you'll write down, okay?"

He nods again, and wow I shouldn't be asking him so many questions when he can't respond verbally.

* * *

><p>So Logan's stutter went over really well actually, the people responded great, asking questions, and overall just being a really accepting crowd. But I don't know how the… <em>other <em>thing Logan and I planned on telling them will go over so well.

The question that was asked next, well… I was hoping it was going to come later than sooner.

"So… boys… how's the dating scene going for each of you? Are any of you taken? Anyone you're interested in at the moment?"

The host – I forget her name – looked at me out of the corner of her eye. I had to tell her about the situation with Logan for me to have any chance of them letting me sing. So she already knows about me.

Kendall spoke up first, "Uh… I think that I can say that no, none of us are dating anybody," he looked over at me, Logan, and James, as if making sure his assumptions were correct. We all nodded. "But as for me, I am _interested _in somebody right now."

"So who is it? Could it be somebody at home, somebody that we might already know?"

"That, I am sorry to inform you, I cannot tell you."

"Oh, well, that's okay. But for you three," she turned to look at me, James and Logan. "How about it, any of you three interested in anyone?

James, to my surprise, nodded his head, as did I, and when I looked over at Logan, he was too.

Oh my god, no… no, this cannot be happening. Just as I was about to tell America that I love him, he goes and tell them right back that he's interested in someone.

I must have been freaking out on the outside as well as the inside, because gosh darn it, Kendall asked a question that I did not want anybody to ask.

"Is everything alright there, Carlos? You don't look so good."

"Yes, I'm fine," I take a deep breath before continuing. "But, um… there's something that Logan and I want to say."

I look over at him, and he looks calm and collected. That just makes me feel better, because as long as he's calm while doing this, I should be calm as well.

"Is it about who you're interested in?"

"In a sense, yes. But it's more about the _types _of people we're interested in."

"And what does that mean exactly?"

I look over at Logan again, and this time he's writing down something on his notepad again. Once he's done, he hands it to me to read aloud.

"_Actually, Carlos and I… well, we're not exactly what you call 'normal' people. We don't necessarily fit in with the rest of society. And if we lose fans because of what's about to happen, the haters can just piss off. I'm bisexual, so yes, I like men too. If you have a problem with that, like I said before, you can piss off. And as for Carlos, he's pansexual. If you don't know what that means you can look it up yourself."_

As I finish reading, I look up from the paper to see the stunned look on everyone's faces.

There are a few moments of awkward silence before anybody speaks up.

"Well, that's great news! Isn't it everyone?"

The crowd erupts into cheers, and it doesn't look like anyone really feels negatively toward what we said.

"Okay, okay, everyone calm down. We won't go into further detail about that situation because it's time for a commercial break! And when we return, we have a special musical performance from a super special guest."

The cameras cut, and I started to get out my seat, but I was held back due to Logan tugging on my arm.

_Carlos? Where are you going? You know we don't have to get up right? The show will be back in a few minutes._

"Logan… the musical guest they're talking about, it's me."

_What? When did that happen? And why wasn't I informed?_

I took a deep breath. Here goes…

"Logan, the song I have planned, it's original, and it's…um… I wrote it for you, about you. That's why you weren't informed."

I saw him blush. Maybe that's a good sign. I can only hope.

* * *

><p>The live audience had figured out by now that I was the one going to be singing today. And they were about to find out why I was doing so. But before the commercials ended, Kendall was up with me on stage, trying his best to comfort me.<p>

"Carlos. What did I say before? The song's fine. You'll do fine. Everything will work out fine. You just have to trust yourself. Okay?"

I muttered thanks before he sat back down and the cameras cam back on.

"So, as you may have figured out, our special musical guest is none other than Carlos here. So, Carlos, I hear that this song is original? So you wrote it?" I nodded. "And may I ask why you wrote it?"

Oh god… here it comes. The moment I've been dreading and looking forward to at the same time.

"Um, well, I actually wrote it for someone who means a whole lot to me."

"Is it possible that we know this person?"

"Actually yes, it's uh… for Logan. Logan, I um… let's just say I really, really like you. As in more than just friends. And as to the reason I have 'girl' in the song, well… it just wouldn't flow as much as 'boy' would. I'm sorry for that, I just hope you like the rest of the song aside from that."

The band that was behind me started playing, and I… well I just ignored the looks everyone was giving me and began to sing.

_I really, I really, whoa_

_I really need to know_

_I really, I really, whoa_

_Or else, you gotta let me go, oh_

_I really, I really_

_This time I really need to do things right_

_Shivers that you give me keep me freezing all night_

_You make me shudder, oh yeah_

_I can't believe it, I'm not myself,_

_Suddenly I'm thinkin' about no one else_

_You make me shudder_

_I really, I really need to know_

_Or else you gotta let me go_

_You're just a fantasy girl_

_It's an impossible world_

_All I want is to be with you always_

_I give you everything_

_Pay some attention to me_

_All I want is just you and me always_

_Give me affection_

_I need your perfection_

_Cause you feel so good_

_You make me stutter, stutter_

_If I could touch you, I'd never let go_

_Now you got me screaming and I cannot shut up, oh, shut up, yeah_

_Now I'm lying on the bedroom floor barely even speaking_

_And I cannot get up_

_I really, I really, I really need to know_

_Or else you gotta let me go, oh_

_You're just a fantasy girl_

_It's an impossible world_

_All I want is to be with you always_

_I give you everything_

_Pay some attention to me_

_All I want is you and me always_

_Give me affection_

_I need your perfection_

_Cause you feel so good_

_You make me stutter, stutter, stutter_

_You knock me down, I can't get up, I'm stuck_

_Gotta stop shaking me up_

_I can't eat, can't sleep, can't think,_

_Sinking under, I'm sinking under_

_You're just a fantasy girl_

_It's an impossible world_

_All I want is to be with you always_

_I give you everything_

_Pay some attention to me_

_All I want is you and me always_

_You're just a fantasy girl_

_It's an impossible world_

_All I want is to be with you always_

_Give me affection, I need your perfection_

_Cause it feels so good you make me stutter_

_You make me stutter_

_You make me stutter_

As soon as I finished, I looked up, and the crowd was silent.

Just as I was about to say something, I felt something run into my side. Ouch.

I look over and see that it's Logan, and he's crying.

"Logan? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Carlos. I'm just happy."

The crowd, along with me, gasped as he spoke.

"Logan… your stutter… is it gone?"

"It is? Oh, I didn't realize it after all that just happened."

"I'm happy because it's gone. Why are you so happy?"

"You really don't see why I'm so happy?" I shook my head. "It's because I feel the same."

"You… you what?" I ask, because this _cannot _be happening right now.

"I said I feel the same. As in, I like you too."

"Oh. Okay then," I look over at the host. "Can I ask him this on live television?" she nodded. So I turn back to Logan and ask him a simple question. One that I've been waiting to ask him for the longest time.

"Logan? What do you say? Go out with me? Be my boyfriend?"

"Yes. Yes, of course. Of course I will. I thought you'd never ask."

"Well I just did. So there," I say as the crowd erupts into applause. I can swear I hear one of them scream 'finally'.

Although this crowd seems accepting, I don't want to kiss Logan on national television. So instead I bring him into an embrace, just loving the moment.

And that is how my day ends. I was single and depressed this morning, and now I'm with my first serious relationship. I couldn't have asked for it to end any better.


	4. Don't Know Nothing

**Oh my god. I am so sorry for so many things. First, I'm once again sorry for how long it took to update, this chapter was so difficult for me to write. Second, this is such a shitty chapter, once again because I had no idea what to do with it. I'm so sorry. I'm such an awful updater. And thirdly, I'm so sorry for this chapter being so much shorter than the other ones, I couldn't think of anything else to write for it.**

**I promise you that the next chapter will be so much better because I actually have an idea for it, unlike this one, I just threw this one together for the sake of continuing.**

**Oh, and a little shout-out to 'ZeldaLove Akira-Chan', the reason I didn't go with the fight idea was because I have a fight planned for them in a later chapter. Sorry about that. **

**Please review and tell me what you think. Reviews make for a happier me, and happier me updates faster. :)**

**Once again, Big Time Rush and Maroon 5 do not belong to me.**

* * *

><p><strong>Carlos' P.O.V.<strong>

It has been about a month since Logan and I got together, and in all honesty, it has been the best month of my life.

Even though I was the one that asked him out, he's been doing most of the leading since then.

He was the one who asked for a date first, in which I immediately said yes. He was the one who paid for said date, much to my reluctance. He was also the one who initiated our first kiss, and I had a feeling he knew he was special enough, because that was my first ever kiss, and I _was _saving it for someone special.

The one thing we haven't done, but I really hope happens soon, is that we say… those three very special words to each other. I know for a fact that I do… love him, but I'm not sure about his feelings towards me. I don't want to say them quite yet because I don't want to freak him out by saying them too soon.

Excluding the audience members at our taping, we haven't told anybody outside of our apartment that we're dating.

They'll find out soon enough, because our interview is about to air, and the four of us are now waiting for it to come on.

Logan and I are cuddled close together on the couch, when I look over in Kendall's direction. The look he has on his face is some sort of mix between jealousy and sadness. Up until a few days ago, I couldn't have guessed _why_ he has that look on his face. Kendall is apparently in the same situation that Logan and I were a month ago. He told me he loves James, but James hasn't shown any sign of liking him back. He then asked Logan and me if James had told us anything, anything that might indicate any sort of mutual attraction. We both said no, much to Kendall's disappointment.

I give him a sad, knowing look, wordlessly saying that he'll be fine. He smiles, although he still looks a little depressed.

"Logan?" He looks at me, a smile on his face. "I have to go talk to Kendall in private real fast, I'll be right back," I say as I kiss him, before I get up and take Kendall into his bedroom – and no, not like that.

"Why'd you drag me in here, Carlos?" He asks, I can tell that he's getting a little annoyed now.

"I wanted to talk to you."

"I get that. But _why_ do you want to talk?"

"I can see that you've been depressed ever since Logan and I got together, and I'm sorry for that. We'll try to keep the PDA to a minimum or we won't do it while you're around, if that makes you feel any better," I say as I try my best to comfort him, really not knowing what else to say.

"No, please don't do that just for me. I see how happy you are with him, and I don't want to take anything away from that."

"I don't want to see you depressed, Kendall. And jealously isn't a good look on you, either."

"I… I'm not jealous!"

"Yes, you are. I can see it clear as day. And don't try and convince me otherwise."

"Tell me how you did it," he said after a few minutes of silence.

"How I did what? Care to elaborate?"

"How did you…" he trailed off, looking a bit nervous. "How did you find the courage to tell Logan how you felt about him? How did you find the courage to _try _something as drastic as writing a song for him?"

"I… I guess I just felt like it was the right thing to do. I felt that Logan would appreciate something like that, nothing too over the top, but something big enough that he knew that I was being sincere. The thing is… I can't tell you how to tell James that you're in love with him," he blushed and looked down at his lap. "But when the time comes, and it will sooner than you might think, you'll know just what to do. Trust me."

"You really think so?" he asked, and I nodded. "Thanks Carlos. That was a simple yet really effective way of putting it. I honestly would've never expected something like that to come from you, but I'm sure glad it did. I feel so much better now. And because of that, I won't be jealous or depressed around you and Logan anymore, so please, you two don't have to wait until I'm out of the room to do anything anymore, I promise."

"You better not be lying to me. I don't want to see any trace of jealousy or depression on you anymore, okay?"

"I promise. And one more thing Carlos," I turn my head around to face him. "I'm pretty sure you haven't told anyone outside of the apartment about you and Logan yet, and our other friends are probably going to be watching this interview…"

"Yes, I know. I'm guessing that our friends are probably going to start calling or coming to knock on our door soon after they see our interview, and I'm prepared for that. Please stop worrying."

"I wasn't worrying! You need to stop assuming those types of things."

"If you say so," I open the door, motioning for Kendall to get off the bed. "I think we should be getting back out there now, hopefully we weren't gone for too long."

* * *

><p>The interview had just ended, and, just like I had predicted, there was a knock on the door almost immediately after.<p>

Kendall looked at me with an eyebrow raised, and I nodded my head, remembering our conversation from earlier.

I got up off the couch and went to open the door, only to find a very pleased looking Camille.

I was about to ask her what she wanted, but I was interrupted by her wrapping her arms around me and nearly squeezing me to death.

"Can't… breathe!" I muttered, taking a much needed deep breath when she let me go.

"Uh… Camille? Care to tell me why you're here and why you almost killed my boyfriend?" That was Logan, obviously concerned about my well-being, but there was still a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

To my surprise, the smile that she had just got larger.

"I'm here to congratulate you, that's why! I just saw your interview, and I'm wondering why it took so long!"

"What took so long?" I asked, although I'm pretty sure that I already know.

"I'm asking you both why it took so long for you to get together," she said as she let herself into the apartment, going over to where Logan was, pointing an accusing finger at him. "And I have a few more things to ask you, but I will wait until later to do so."

"What do you mean? Did you somehow know that the attraction between us was mutual?" Logan asked, grabbing her hand and putting it down.

"I could tell that you two liked each other without either one of you telling me. It was kind of obvious. I can also tell that Kendall likes…" Kendall cut her off, preventing her from revealing his secret.

"No! No need to go any further into that! Please."

"Ah, I get it. You haven't told that person about it yet, have you? Ok, I won't go any further."

Kendall looked relieved that she didn't reveal the name or that it wasn't actually a girl.

"Thank you," was all he said.

"You're welcome. Now Logan, I said I needed to talk to you," she turned to me. "Do you mind if I borrow Logan for a few minutes?"

"No, go right ahead," I said, and I could barely hold in a laugh, wondering why she felt the need to ask me a question like that.

"I can tell that she respects you two and your decision, Carlos," Kendall said after Logan and Camille left.

"What? What do you mean by that?"

"Well, to put it simply, she wouldn't have acted so… controlled around you two if she didn't respect you at least a little bit. Before, when you two _weren't _dating, she really did whatever she felt like with Logan, you know. Remember? And now that she knows about you two, she _asked you _if she could talk to him. That never would've happened before."

"I guess you're right, Kendall. Now that I think about it, before she just would've taken him without asking anybody."

"Isn't that what I just said? Well, in a sense," he asked, and I could tell that he could barely hold in a laugh either.

"Yes. I understand what you mean. Camille is a take charge type of person, but when she sees something she should be respectful of, she does act more cautiously."

"Exactly. Now can we just drop the subject?"

I kept my mouth shut, not wanting to annoy Kendall any further.

* * *

><p>I got up and was in the hallway, about to go and check why it was taking Camille and Logan so long, considering all I knew was that she wanted to ask him a few questions, when my phone rang.<p>

I fished it out of my pocket, looking at the caller ID. Shit. It was my mom. Logan and I have been dating for a month and I forgot to tell my own mother about us? Wow I feel like a horrible son.

I went into a nearby room, so no one could hear our conversation. I then answered it, albeit a little hesitant. "Hey, mom…"

_"Carlos, by the tone in your voice, I'm guessing you know why I'm calling you. Right?"_

"Yes, mom. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Logan and me, I just got caught up in everything, and before you ask, no, we haven't done anything like _that _yet. I'm sorry you had to find out about it this way. To be fair, I haven't actually directly told anybody else yet, either. So you're not the only one finding out through television. I'm so sorry, it just escaped me."

_"It's fine, honey. I called to congratulate you, is all. Even when you were still living over here, I could tell you two liked each other. Whether it's a mother's intuition or just being plain obvious, I could tell. I hope you and Logan stay together for a long time; you two are so cute together. And one more thing before I leave, the song you sang, it was beautiful. You should get it professionally recorded. I would buy it in a heartbeat."_

"Thanks, mom. That means a lot, coming from you. And I might just have to take you up on that offer."

_"Love you, too, Carlos. Say hi to Logan for me, alright?"_

"Will do, mom. Our friend came over and she's talking to him now, so it might take me a while, but I'll get it done."

"_Okay, I just called to tell you that, so I have to go now. I'll talk to you later, Carlos,"_ she said as he hung up.

I came out of whatever room I was in the same time Logan and Camille came out of theirs.

"Hey, Carlos," Logan said, a smile on his face.

"Hey, Logie," I say as I walk over to him, giving him a quick kiss.

"What were you doing?" He asks.

"Well, I _was _going to check why it was taking you two so long, but that got interrupted by a phone call from my mother. Oh, she told me to tell you hi, by the way."

Logan's face paled, turning quickly to Camille, asking if she could leave so he could talk to me. After that, he proceeded to take me into our shared bedroom, I'm guessing he didn't want this conversation to be heard either.

"What's wrong, Logan?" I ask, genuinely concerned because he was now pacing back and forth, a worried look on his face.

"You told me that your mom called you, right?"

"Uh, yeah. But what does that have to do with anything?"

"Why did she call you?" He asks, still not stopping his pacing.

"I, uh, forgot to tell her that we were dating. She must've seen the interview, because that's what our conversation was about. At first I felt bad for forgetting to tell her, so I apologized. She said something about knowing that we liked each other, and then congratulated us. So I guess my mom's okay with it, seeing as she seemed genuinely happy."

"Well that's the problem," he said. I still don't get what he's trying to say.

"How is that a problem, Logan?"

"Your parents are probably always going to be supportive of you, and I'm glad that they will. And my mom most likely will, too. But not my dad. He… doesn't exactly think so kindly of the idea of two people of the same sex dating. Fuck, Carlos. Why didn't I tell him before? He's going to see the interview, and he's going to be pissed. Both because I forgot to tell him that we're dating, and also because I also forgot to tell him I'm bisexual. Shit."

Wow. I could most definitely see the problem with it now.

"Okay, let me ask you a question before you get too worried," he nods, and I motion for him to come over and sit next to me on the bed.

"If you don't mind me asking," I pause for a second, wrapping my arm around his shoulders. "Why is your dad not… okay with people like us?"

"I really don't know how to explain it other than he thinks that being with a person of the same sex is wrong and immoral. I completely forgot about that during the taping. If I would have remembered, it would've ended a little differently, would've said yes offstage rather than onstage. Oh, god. He's going to disown me or something, that's how much he dislikes 'people like us'. What do I do, Carlos? I'm so scared," he said as he put his head in his hands, starting to cry.

I suddenly got an idea that might just work on calming him down, it might be a long shot, but I'm gonna go for it.

So I take a deep breath and say, "Logan, honey," he looked up, a small smile starting to form, despite the tears. "We'll figure out a way to get through this. And if your dad, for some reason, does anything to harm you, I'll have _my _dad do something about it, even if means having one or both of them coming down here to California. I… I love you too much to let anything bad happen to you."

There. I said it.

"You… you _what_?" He asks, his eyes widening and cheeks turning a dark shade of red.

"You heard it. I said I love you too much to let anything bad happen to you."

"I… are you being serious right now?"

"Why would I lie about it? I would never lie to you like that, especially at a time like this."

His smile grew larger, despite the tears coming down even harder. And the next thing I knew, I was being enveloped in a tight embrace.

"I love you too, Carlos. So much. And now that I know that, I do believe that if or whenever we have to face my dad, I know that I'll have the confidence to. You've given me so much courage and confidence, Carlos. I couldn't have asked for a better person to do that."

I just smiled, wrapping my arms around him and kissing the top of his head.

* * *

><p>It had been about two weeks since that day, and Logan hasn't gotten any word of hate from his father like he was expecting, although he did get a call from his mom, telling him that she supported him.<p>

Logan and I were alone in the apartment, just enjoying that it was quiet around here for once. I don't know and I don't care where the others are.

I was propped up in my bed, eyes closed, Logan lying in my lap, when a knock on the door took us out of the silence.

"I'll get it," I offered, Logan looked half asleep anyway.

I took his head off my lap, gently placing it back on the pillow, not wanting to disturb him any further.

I didn't bother looking through the peephole, but that was probably the worst decision I've made in a while.

I opened the door, only to be instantly knocked to the ground by an unknown force.

"What the hell have you done to my son?" I heard the voice yell, recognizing it to be Logan's father.

What was he doing here? Why now?

"I don't understand," I say simply, trying to be cautious.

"You know _damn _well what I mean. You've corrupted my son."

"And how has he corrupted me, dad? I don't see any problem with it."

I look up from my place on the floor to see Logan standing there, his arms crossed and a stern look on his face.

"Being gay is wrong and immoral, Logan. I thought I raised you to know that. I thought I raised you right."

"If you were listening, which you so obviously weren't, you should have known that I'm not gay, I'm bisexual. So in your views, I guess you raised me half right. So what if I fell in love with another man when there could have been a possibility of a woman holding that position? I see absolutely nothing wrong with it. I love Carlos and he loves me. If you can't accept that fact, then I suggest you get the _fuck _out of here before I call the cops on you."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Oh, I would _so _dare. Just you watch me," he said as he pulled his phone out of his pocket.

I could see Logan's dad hesitating a little before saying, "I… I'll be back for you. This isn't the last time you'll see me. I'll make sure that I rid you of this… disease you have."

He then proceeded to walk away and slam the door on his way out.

"Carlos?" Logan asked, coming over to me and kneeling at my side. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine," I say as I get up off the floor, taking him with me. "But more importantly, you stood up to your dad, Logie. I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks, Carlos. This whole ordeal kind of gave me an idea for a song. I know it sounds kind of repetitive, considering we've written three in the last year, and we even have people for that. But I'm gonna write it anyway. Do you want to help?"

"I would love to help my boyfriend write a song."

* * *

><p>I've learned that writing a song can be really fun, yet it can be really time consuming and exhausting.<p>

Logan and I are in the studio now, getting his song recorded, after I recorded mine. I only did that because my mom really wanted me to, and I can't deny my mom something like that.

"You ready Logan?" I ask, and he gives me a thumbs-up from behind the glass. "Good. Now sing," I say playfully when the music starts playing.

_Oooh_

_Oooh_

_Livin' inside my head_

_Pulling my strings_

_Letting me think I'm in control_

_Giving you all of my heart_

_Was a good start_

_But it turns out you want my soul_

_I don't know nothing about that_

_In fact I don't know nothing at all_

_I'm tired of proving you right_

_By doing everything so wrong_

_So tell me what you really want_

_'Cause I don't wanna be_

_I don't wanna be alone_

_Oooh_

_Oooh_

_Pushing me over the edge_

_Can't forget those things you said_

_Cut to the bone_

_Go ahead, take your swing_

_What did you think?_

_I was just gonna roll over? Oh no_

_I don't know nothing about that_

_In fact I don't know nothing at all_

_I'm tired of proving you right_

_By doing everything so wrong_

_Gotta tell me what you really want_

_'Cause I don't wanna be_

_Oh, I don't wanna be alone_

_Oooh_

_Oooh_

_I don't wanna be_

_I'm putting myself on the line_

_I'm tired of wasting my time_

_There's got to be a reason why_

_She will not talk to me_

_No I, I don't know nothing 'bout that_

_In fact I don't know nothing at all_

_So tired of proving you right_

_By doing everything so wrong_

_No I, I don't know nothing about that_

_In fact I don't know nothing at all_

_So tired of proving you right_

_By doing everything so wrong_

_Tell me what you really want_

_I don't wanna be_

_I don't wanna be alone_

_Oooh_

_Oooh_

The music ended and Logan looked up and smiled.

"That was beautiful, Logan. When will you ever stop making me proud of you?"

"I hope never," he says as he comes out of the booth, kissing me softly.

"I hope never, too. I love you."

"I love you too, Carlos."


	5. Never Gonna Leave This Bed

**Wow, I seriously cannot explain how sorry I am for making you wait double the length of what you normally would for a chapter. It's just that I had like zero motivation to write this for a few weeks. And once I found it, I wrote like nonstop to make up for the long waiting period. The funny thing is, I actually had most of this chapter planned way before I even started writing this story, let alone the chapter.**

**Oh, and this is the first chapter written in Kendall's point of view. It's also the first chapter that has quite a lot of angst in it. So be prepared, I guess.**

**I hope this chapter at least somewhat makes up for the way too long waiting period you guys had to endure.**

**And please, it would also mean a lot to me if you reviewed and/or favorited this. I'd prefer reviews though because I work really hard on these chapters and reviews let me know what people are thinking of my writing.**

* * *

><p><strong>Kendall's P.O.V.<strong>

"Hey guys, I'm going to go out for a while, I'll be back in about an hour," James said to the three of us as he was walking towards the front door.

"Where are you going?" I ask him, hoping that didn't come off as sounding too desperate or clingy.

"Jogging, maybe to the store to pick up a few things. Why?"

"Oh, no reason. I was just asking."

He just gave me a weird look as he walked out the door.

As soon as it closed, Logan sighed.

"What?" I ask, not seeing what the problem was.

"That was a pathetic attempt at flirting, Kendall. That's what."

"How was that…? I don't understand how that was flirting. I was just asking him a simple question."

"_Sure _you were," he rolled his eyes. "But in all seriousness, Carlos and I have talked it over, and both of us agree that it's about time that you do something and act on your feelings for him. Do something other than just pointless flirting."

"I was not flirting with him!"

"I didn't mean your most recent attempt, I just meant in general. You need to drop hints that you like him. You need to come up with some new material other that flirting. I've said it twice now; I think you should understand that that means I'm serious about it. I'm tired of seeing you go after him without moving your friendship any closer to a dating relationship."

"I know Logan's my boyfriend and all, but I have to disagree with him on this matter. Remember when I told you that you would know just the right thing to do and the right time to tell James about how you really feel?" I nodded. "That still holds true. You don't have to move too quickly. That's not the right way to go about a relationship. Just take your time and it'll all work itself out eventually. I promise."

"Wow. That's one of the first things we disagree on Carlos," he paused, and then turned to look at me. "Kendall? Do whatever you feel is the right thing to do. Whether you wait or tell him soon, it's not up to either Carlos or me. Just… promise me that you'll get to it eventually, before it's too late."

"What do you mean 'too late'?"

"You know, James really isn't the type of person to stay single for long. Granted, he is at the moment, but you never know."

"Speaking of not knowing, how do I even know if I have a chance? How do I know if he's even… attracted to the same sex?"

My question just resulted in Logan laughing at me.

"What? What could've possibly made you laugh in what I just asked?"

I had to wait a few moments before Logan calmed down enough to answer.

"You really don't see what the flaw was in your question?" I shook my head, honestly starting to get a little pissed off. "You can't honestly believe that James in one-hundred percent straight. We've known him long enough to at least get that out of how he acts, how he talks, how he reacts to things. Please tell me that that thought has gone through your head at least once."

"I feel bad to say that it has, Logan. But I keep telling myself that doing something like that is stereotyping, it just feels weird to talk about James's sexuality based on the way he behaves."

I heard Logan sigh again. "You know, you're right, and I'm sorry for saying that," I smiled, silently saying thanks. "But to be honest, and I'm trying not to sound like I'm eavesdropping, I have seen him… check out a few guys before. I know he's most likely trying to be discreet, but I can tell it's there. So I still believe that he isn't one-hundred percent straight, if that's a better reasoning."

"I suppose… but I still won't fully believe it until I see it. You know what I mean?"

"I do actually, yes," he paused before continuing. "You do know I have to ask you the same question now, right?"

"What… question are you talking about?"

"Well we know Carlos's, mine, and possibly James's. But what about you? What do you like to consider yourself sexually?"

I immediately turned red at his question, not wanting to answer, so I kept silent.

"Oh come on, Kendall. Logan and I did the same thing¸ but we did it on national television. If we can do that, you can at least tell two of your best friends."

I feel as if I have to tell them now, now that Carlos brought that up. And he's right, if they can do it on a national scale, I can do it in the privacy of my own living room.

"I… honestly don't really know how to classify myself. James is really the only guy I've ever been interested in."

"Okay, let me ask you a few questions to try and figure it out. You say James is the only other man you've felt attraction towards?" I nodded. "Okay. So what about girls? I'm guessing by what you said that you still like them?" I nodded again. "Alright, so what made you fall in love with James in the first place?"

I gulped; I was not expecting to have to explain that.

"I'm not really the type of person to just fall in love based on looks, so I guess the main factor would be his personality, how he acts different around us three than he does with everyone else. Does… does that help?"

"It does, actually. From what you've just told me, I've figured out that you're like Carlos here. You don't fall in love with a specific gender; you just fall in love with the person, which is your situation with James, isn't it? Does that sound right?"

"Yeah, actually, it does. Thanks for clearing that up, Logan."

"You're welcome," he said as he took Carlos's hand. "Carlos and I have a date planned, so that'll leave you in the apartment alone for a while. You'll be fine by yourself, right?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Logan gave me a weird look. "I'll be fine, no need to worry about me. Go along now and have fun on your date. And if you want, I'll call you if anything goes wrong, okay?"

"You don't need to be getting all sarcastic with me, Kendall. But if you really need us, you can call and we'll be back as soon as possible, alright?"

"Okay, I get it. And I'm serious, you don't have to wait any longer, just go and have fun."

"Thanks," was all he said before he and Carlos got up and left out the front door.

They are so perfect together; I hope that they stay together for a long time. And not to sound selfish or anything, but I hope that one day that I can have that same kind of relationship with James.

* * *

><p>It had been a few hours since then, and I was still alone in the apartment. This of course worried me very deeply. James said that he'd be back in about an hour, and it had most definitely been more than an hour. I'm debating in my head if I should call him, wondering if that would be some sort of invasion of privacy.<p>

But as if he, or somebody, could read my mind, I heard the familiar ringtone of James calling me.

I hurried around the room, trying to find where I had left it. I eventually did, and I answered just in time.

"Hey, James. Where are you? You've been gone for a lot longer than you said you would. Is everything alright?"

"_Is this Kendall that I'm talking to?"_ An unfamiliar voice asked on the other end.

"Yes…" I paused, trying to figure out if I knew the voice or not, ultimately giving up. "Okay, who is this and why are you calling from James's phone?"

"_I am calling on behalf of Cedars-Sinai hospital, in which I regret to inform you that your friend, James, has been admitted to."_

I stopped dead in my tracks, my breath stopping.

"W-what? How did… wait a minute, why did you decide to call me over all the other people?"

"_Sir, your name was the first on his emergency contact list. We do that will all of the patients admitted who come in without any company."_

"So…" I started to say, I was already crying. I wasn't sure if I could finish.

"_What's the matter, sir?"_

I took a deep breath, trying to regain enough composure so I could ask the question. "W-what… what happened? W-why is J-James in the h-hospital?" I asked as I choked out a sob.

"_We're not exactly sure of how or why it happened, but your friend was hit by a car. I once again regret to inform you that the damage done is severe and relatively extensive."_

Oh god, I feel like I'm going to throw up. This cannot be happening right now. This is just some crazy dream that I'm having. I sit down and take a deep breath and ask a question that I need to know.

"Is he… is he alive? Please tell me that he's alive. I need to know that he's alive."

"_From what I know, he is indeed alive, but barely. Like I said, his injuries are severe and doctors are doing their best to keep him alive. The doctors are performing surgery now, trying their best to repair the internal damage. Does he have a parent or legal guardian to come to the hospital? If he has family or close friends, they can come too."_

"Y-yes, he d-does. I'll c-call them and w-we'll get to the h-hospital as s-soon as p-possible," I choked out between sobs.

I'm a complete mess right now; I can't even say a full sentence without sobbing.

"_I'll leave you to it sir. I'm so sorry that this happened," _she said as she hung up, leaving me alone, leaving me a sobbing mess on the couch.

I realized that I needed to call the others, to let them know about what happened.

I shakily dialed Logan's number, holding the phone up to my ear.

He answers after a few rings, "Kendall? I thought you said you'd only call if something was wrong."

"T-there is. J-James, h-he…"

"_Kendall? You sound awful. What happened? What about James?"_

I took a deep breath, willing myself to at least get one sentence out without stuttering.

"James is… he's in the hospital. The hospital that he's at called and said that he was hit by a car and that the damage done was severe. He's in surgery, Logan!"

"_Oh my god, I'm so sorry to hear about that. I'll get Carlos and we'll be on our way home as soon as possible. Have you called your mom yet?"_

"No, I haven't actually. I called you first."

"_Well, you don't sound in very good position to be doing so. Do you want me to do it?"_

"Yes please, if it's not too much trouble."

"_Of course it isn't. We'll be home soon and then Carlos and I will take you to the hospital. I'm so sorry this happened, Kendall. None of us could have predicted it. So please, don't blame yourself, I know you tend to do that."_

"I… thank you, Logan. How long do you think you'll take to get here?"

"_I'm not quite sure, maybe fifteen to twenty minutes. I said Carlos and I will be home as soon as possible, so just sit still and try to stay calm. I know that might be a little hard, given the current situation, but I need you to be as calm as you can, okay?"_

"I… I can try, yes. I'm really sorry I had to interrupt your date."

"_It's fine, I told you we'd come home if anything went wrong, which sadly something _did_. We'll be there soon, Kendall, I promise."_

* * *

><p>I was on the couch, holding and – still – sobbing into a pillow when I heard the door open, not needing to look up to know that it was Carlos and Logan.<p>

"Hey, Kendall. You, uh… you ready to go?" Logan asked, coming to sit down next to me, putting a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"I… I guess so."

"Come on then," he said as tried to help me get up, but as soon as I was on my feet, my legs started shaking and I had to sit down.

"I can't… I can't do it by myself. I know that might sound weird but I can't."

Logan looked over at Carlos. "Carlos, you're stronger than I am, do you mind carrying Kendall to the car?"

"Oh, of course not," he said as he came over to me as well, turning so that his back was facing me.

I got on, wrapping my arms around his neck, him putting his arms under my legs. I looked over at Logan, as if asking if it was okay that I was doing this.

"It's fine, Kendall, don't worry about it, especially at a time like this. Let's just get going, I don't want to make any of us wait any longer."

"I… I'm sorry I'm being such a nuisance. I can't even walk, how pathetic is that? I mean, really."

"No, I understand completely. I would do the same thing if I was in your situation," Logan said, and I could tell that Carlos was smiling as we made our way out the door and to Logan's car.

* * *

><p>When we got to the hospital, I was well enough so that I could stand up and rush into the emergency entrance, immediately asking if James was out of surgery yet.<p>

Carlos and Logan came in not long after, noticing my distress.

"Kendall, please, just calm down, there's no need for you to be this upset…" Logan said, and I honestly can't believe what I'm hearing.

"Are you kidding me? Are you _fucking _kidding me right now? You seriously think that there's no reason for me to be this upset? James is in the fucking _hospital, _Logan! What would you do if it was Carlos in the fucking operating room and not James? I don't think you'd be able to stay calm, either! So just shut the hell up, okay?! And before you ask, no, I am _not _sorry that I lashed out at you like that, you should learn to not ask these types of questions."

I said that I wasn't sorry, but in the back of my mind I think I kind of was.

I didn't want to cause any more confrontation, so I turned back to the lady at the front desk, apologized to her for my outburst, and asked about where James is.

"Last I heard he's still in surgery. That's on the third floor, if you want to go wait up there for him."

"Yes, thank you. That'll be great," I said as walked towards the elevator, pushing the button that would take me up.

I heard shy footsteps behind me, looking back to see that Carlos and Logan had caught up with me.

"Look, Logan…"

"Don't apologize, Kendall. I understand that I was completely out of line in saying that you had nothing to worry about. It was a stupid thing to say and I'm sorry."

I kept silent, not wanting to bring up the chance of lashing out at him again.

The elevator doors opened a few moments later, I stepped in and pressed the button that would take me to the third floor, Carlos and Logan stepping in after me.

We got back off on the third floor not thirty seconds later.

I stepped out and I swear that I almost fainted at the thought of what happened on this floor on a daily basis.

"Whoa there, big guy. You okay?" I looked up to see that it was what I assumed to be a surgeon or a nurse that worked on this floor.

"Yes, I'm fine. Thanks for asking. Do you know anything about the patients on this floor?"

"Why yes, actually, I do. What do you need to know? You here for someone?"

"Do… you know anything about a James Diamond?"

"Oh, so you must be Kendall. Were you the one that we called from Mr. Diamond's phone?"

I nodded, unable to form any words at the moment.

"Well I actually just came out from operating on him. The surgery was successful, although we couldn't save the lower half of his left leg; the damage was far too severe for it to be saved. I'm so sorry."

I'm surprised I haven't fainted, passed out or thrown up yet today.

"He's alive, though, right?" The doctor nodded. "Oh thank goodness. What… what kind of damage besides his leg was there?"

"Well, starting from the top going down; a concussion, broken and fractured ribs, a completely shattered right forearm and wrist, a deep gash in his right thigh, and the previously mentioned amputated left lower leg. I have to say it's a miracle that your friend is still alive."

"You told me he lost his lower left leg?" The doctor sadly nodded. "Will… will he ever be able to walk again?"

"If we manage to get him a prosthetic leg, then most likely, yes. Although it will most likely take months of physical therapy for him to be able to get used to walking on a prosthesis. Before all that starts, though, he'll have to wait a few months for his arm to heal. The bars and crutches he would use to aid him would put too much pressure on his arm, and he can't risk any more damage being done to it."

"Are there any lasting side effects from any of his other injuries?"

"With his set of injuries, all I can say is that he needs to rest. It's sad to say that for a few months, he won't be able to do much on his own; you three will need to help him with simple everyday tasks. Now, depending on the type of person he is, he may not like the idea of his friends helping him around the house at first. But from my experience in dealing with similar situations, he'll soon after realize that he does in fact need assistance."

I was at a loss for words, this doesn't… this doesn't seem real. This all seems like some sort of weird nightmare I'm having. I have to face the reality, though. I know it's not a dream, I know it's realty. Terrible things like this happen in real life, and I just have to accept the fact that life decided to rear its ugly head and rain down this horror upon us.

I can't seem to form any more words at the moment, so I just weakly step forward until I find a chair. I sit down and bring my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them and sighing deeply, trying to calm myself down.

I can vaguely hear Logan asking questions to the doctor when I feel a hand come to rest on my shoulder. I look up to see that it's Carlos with a said, sympathetic look on his face.

He takes his hand off and sits next to me, not saying a word, just rubbing up and down my back in an effort to try and make me feel a little better about the situation.

"What am I going to do, Carlos?" I sobbed out.

"I… I don't know, buddy. I guess we'll just have to wait and see how this whole situation wants to play itself out."

I look up in the direction that the doctor is, only to find that what I assume to be is a nurse is rushing towards him, looking frantic.

Logan looks like he doesn't want to intrude on whatever it is that's wrong, so he comes over to where Carlos and I are.

The doctor, to my horror, comes over to where the three of us are as well.

I stand up, wanting the doctor to say what he has to say to my face.

"What's… what's wrong?" I ask, trying my best not to sound too panicked.

"I'm sorry to say that your friend is not doing as well as we had hoped."

"W-what? He's… he's not dead… is he?"

"No, thankfully he isn't. We had to put him in a medically induced coma so that his body could take some time off from trying so hard to recover, but we'll make sure that he's safe and healthy. That and it makes it a little easier to observe him."

"Wait… why did you have to put him in a coma in the first place? What's wrong?"

Of course Logan would ask a question like that. Of-_fucking_-course.

"He started having a seizure due to the concussion. It was getting progressively worse, and it wouldn't stop on its own, so we had to stop it for ourselves by putting him in the coma we talked about."

"Is… is there anything else wrong with him? When will he wake up?"

"No, thankfully there isn't anything else wrong with him. And who knows about when he'll wake up, those kinds of things are unpredictable. It could be from a few days to a few weeks before he wakes up. Other than that, though, he should be fine."

"When can I go see him?"

"Sir, I don't think visiting would be such a good idea, given the state that he's currently in."

"You said he's alive, so what do you mean 'the state that he's in'?"

"Taken from experience, you probably won't like to see such a close friend hooked up to all the machines we have him on, not to mention all the cuts and bruises that are visible."

"You're not saying we can't see him, though. So when can I go see him?"

"Sir…"

"I don't care what it looks like in there!" I interrupted. "I just need to see him!"

"Sir, he just got out of surgery a few minutes ago. We can't have anyone visit him until tomorrow."

"When can I see him tomorrow then?" I asked desperately, I was getting kind of fed up with the vague answers the doctor was giving me.

"Our policy only allows visitors over eighteen to visit patients in the ICU, but seeing how desperate you seem to be and knowing how close the three of you are to him, I think we'll make an exception."

"Really? You'll do that for us? Oh my god, thank you so much. When do visitor hours start, may I ask?"

"They're actually open twenty-four hours for ICU patients, but like we said, he just got out of surgery, it would be best for him if you come back tomorrow. And our policy also states that one person at a time is allowed for five minutes every hour. But once again seeing your situation, if you really need to stay longer than that, we'll make an exception. We'll also allow all three of you to go in if you really want."

"I don't know what to say except thank you. I don't know about these two," I said, motioning to Carlos and Logan. "But I will be back as soon as I can tomorrow," I shook the doctor's hand before heading back to the elevator, Carlos and Logan following close behind.

"Kendall, where'd you get the crazy idea that we wouldn't want to come see James?" Logan asked, slapping me upside the head once we got into the elevator.

"What was that for?!" I asked, rubbing the spot that Logan had hit.

Logan just gave me a look that said 'Are you kidding me?'.

"Sorry, sorry," I apologize. "I don't know where I got that idea and it was stupid of me to say it."

That's the last thing I say before I completely break down, falling to the floor of the elevator and bringing my head into my knees, sobbing uncontrollably.

Carlos and Logan don't say a word; they just sit down next to me, trying their best to calm me down.

"Kendall… it'll be okay. James' doctor said he's fine," Logan said after a few minutes of silence.

I take a deep breath, willing myself to stop crying long enough to get out a few words.

"I trust him and all… It's just that I can't help but worry, you know?"

"I understand where you're coming from. I would react the same if I was in your situation. So yes, I do know," Logan said softly, getting up off the floor. "Let's just go home, okay?"

"Yes, I'm sorry for delaying our departure," I said as I got up as well, pressing the button that would take us to the ground floor of the hospital.

"You don't have to be sorry, Kendall, really," Carlos finally spoke up. "Logan and I understand the situation you're in."

All I did was nod sadly, not feeling well enough to actually speak.

I was silent the whole ride home. And once we got home, I immediately collapsed onto the couch, my legs not strong enough to carry me any farther.

"Kendall… you can come and get Carlos and me tomorrow whenever you're ready to go back to the hospital, okay?"

I nodded and mumbled an 'okay', looking up to see Carlos and Logan retreating back into their room.

* * *

><p>I must have fallen asleep on the couch, because I woke up the next morning to find myself still there.<p>

"Kendall, sweetie, you're awake," I heard my mom say from the kitchen.

"What? When did you get home last night?"

"I was caught in traffic with your sister when Logan called me and told me what happened. I'm so sorry, Kendall. And I'm also sorry I couldn't make it to the hospital before you, Carlos and Logan left," she said sadly, sitting at the edge of the couch where my feet were.

"It's fine mom, I promise," I answer her, sitting up.

"No, it's not, honey, your eyes are red. You were crying last night, weren't you?"

How…? How could she know? All I could do was nod sadly.

"The whole experience must have been pretty traumatic for you, wasn't it?"

"You don't even know mom. You don't know how hard this situation has been on me."

"It's because you're in love with him, isn't it? That's why you're taking this ten times worse than Carlos and Logan are."

I continued nodding, only to start sobbing again. I don't care that my mom now knew my secret. She was so supportive of Carlos and Logan when she found out about them. So why wouldn't she be supportive of her own son?

"Oh, Kendall… honey…" she said hesitantly.

I take a deep breath, once again willing myself to calm down enough to be able to talk.

"I'll be fine, mom, I promise. I trust the doctors and what they said about James and that he'll almost fully recover. Carlos, Logan and I are going back to the hospital later today to check up on him."

"That's great that you're doing this for him, Kendall. It really is. I'm so proud of you."

"Why?" I laughed lightly, despite the situation. "I haven't done anything for you to be proud of me for. Checking up on a friend in the hospital is normal."

"But James is more than just a friend for you," I blush a dark shade of red and she laughs, too. "I know he is, Kendall. You don't have to be embarrassed about it," she paused, getting up off the couch. "I'll go get Carlos and Logan and tell them you're awake."

"There's no need for that Ms. Knight. We heard you and Kendall talking from our room."

"Oh, well that's great. I guess I'll just leave you three alone, then. Keep me updated, okay?"

"Will do," Logan nodded and my mom left the room.

Logan turned to look at me. "Well? You ready to go?"

My answer was me nodding and walking out the door, not checking to see if they were following me.

After they caught up to me once I reached Logan's car, I stepped in and eagerly awaited our arrival back to the hospital.

* * *

><p>Once we got back to the hospital, James' doctor immediately recognized us and showed us to James' room.<p>

"I have somewhere else I have to be, so I'll just leave you three on your own. And if you need anything or anything goes wrong, don't be hesitant to call me," he said as he walked off to who knows where.

"Are you sure you're ready for this, Kendall?" Logan asked hesitantly. "I know you might think you are, but once you go in there, you might have to change your mind."

"Only if you go in with me," I say without really realizing it.

"Of course," both Carlos and Logan say at the same time.

"That's a little creepy," I mutter to myself before opening the door, and stepping into the room. And as soon as I laid my eyes on James I almost fainted. "I'm going to be sick," I say, wrapping my arms around my stomach.

"See? What did I tell you?" Logan asked.

"Shut the hell up, Logan," Carlos responded. "Kendall doesn't need you to run your mouth at a time like this."

Logan looked somewhat shocked that Carlos would respond like that. But the look quickly turned to one of understanding.

"You're right. I'm sorry, Kendall."

"Look, it's no big deal. I forgive you," I said as I slowly took steps forward, inching myself towards James' hospital bed. I sit down in the one chair provided and I almost break down again, forcing myself to be calm for James' sake.

"Now that I think about it, I think it'd be better if Carlos and I leave you two alone," Logan said, taking Carlos and leaving James and me alone.

I look back at James, lying unconscious on the bed and I completely break down again.

I take the hand that isn't covered in IV's or wrapped tightly by plaster and rub my fingers over it, wanting to feel his natural warmth. Except… it wasn't there. I guess that was to be expected when he's been unconscious in this stone cold room for a day or however long he's been in here.

I hear the soft, continuous beeping of his heart monitor, and that calms me down enough to get words out.

"James… if you can here me in there, I just want you to know that I already miss you and I'm hoping with all my might that you make it out of this alive. I know you will… it's just that I can't help but worry, you know?" I laugh quietly to myself, despite the situation.

After a few minutes of sitting there quietly, I decided I couldn't take being in there any longer. So I press a quick kiss to his hand before heading out the door, only to find Carlos and Logan waiting for me.

"How'd it go, Kendall?" Logan asked, and I could see him running a hand across a mildly distressed looking Carlos' back.

"Better than I expected," I answered. "I do want to go home and get some rest, though. Come back tomorrow."

Logan just nodded in agreement. We've been doing that a lot lately, nodding instead of saying words.

And almost as soon as we got home, I came up with an idea. It's a little repetitive because we've been doing a lot of this lately, too. I'm going to try and write a song for James. I've heard that people in comas often react well to familiar sounds and smells. And since I can't really think of any smell that'll get James' attention, what else is there to do other than write a song? I know that I could use some of our songs, but I want to try this. Carlos and Logan have done it four times within the last year or so, and I figured I could do it at least once.

* * *

><p>After I had gotten permission to sing in James' hospital room, I went straight to work writing a song that I thought would fit the situation.<p>

It had been a few weeks since then; I wanted to make sure everything in the song was perfect. I had visited James every day to help the writing process move a little faster. He hasn't awakened yet, but he has shown signs of waking up soon. Hopefully my song will be that one last push that he needs.

So here I am, guitar in hand, sitting next to a still unconscious James, ready to finally reveal my song to him.

"James… if you can hear me, please wake up soon. All of America is praying that you wake up from this. I'm sorry, but the news of your accident got out and spread like wildfire a few days after it happened. Carlos, Logan and I have made damn well sure that nobody except close friends and family made it into your hospital room, though. You can thank me for that later. And for now, it's just me and you in here, and I have a song I have spent weeks perfecting ready to sing to you."

I take a deep breath before finally starting to sing.

_You push me  
>I don't have the strength to<br>Resist or control you  
><em>_So take me down, take me down_

_You hurt me_  
><em>But do I deserve this?<em>  
><em>You make me so nervous<em>  
><em>Calm me down, calm me down<em>

_Wake you up_  
><em>In the middle of the night to say<em>  
><em>I will never walk away again<em>  
><em>I'm never gonna leave this bed, oh<em>

_So come here_  
><em>And never leave this place<em>  
><em>Perfection of your face<em>  
><em>Slows me down, slows me down<em>

_So fall down_  
><em>I need you to trust me<em>  
><em>Go easy, don't rush me<em>  
><em>Help me out, why don't you help me out<em>

_Wake you up_  
><em>In the middle of the night to say<em>  
><em>I will never walk away again<em>  
><em>I'm never gonna leave this bed, oh<em>

_So you say "Go, it isn't working"_  
><em>And I say "No, it isn't perfect"<em>  
><em>So I stay instead<em>  
><em>I'm never gonna leave this bed<em>

_Take it, take it all_  
><em>Take all that I have<em>  
><em>I'd give it all away just to get you back<em>

_And fake it, fake it all_  
><em>Take what I can get<em>

_Knocking so loud_  
><em>Can you hear me yet<em>  
><em>Try to stay awake but you can't forget<em>

_Wake you up_  
><em>In the middle of the night to say<em>  
><em>I will never walk away again<em>  
><em>I'm never gonna leave this bed, oh<em>

_You say "Go, it isn't working"_  
><em>And I say "No, it isn't perfect"<em>  
><em>So I stay instead<em>  
><em>I'm never gonna leave this bed, ooh<em>

_Take it, take it all_  
><em>Take all that I have<em>  
><em>Take it, take it all<em>  
><em>Take all that I have<em>  
><em>Take it, take it all<em>  
><em>Take all that I have<em>  
><em>Take it, take it all<em>  
><em>Take all that I have<em>

_Take it, take it all_  
><em>Take all that I have<em>  
><em>Take it, take it all<em>  
><em>Take all that I have<em>  
><em>Take it, take it all<em>  
><em>Take all that I have<em>

By the end of the song, I was full on sobbing. I'm wiping my eyes when I hear something I thought that I'd never hear again.

"That was beautiful. Why are you crying?"

That was… that was James! I look up so see his eyes open and him staring at me intensely.

"James?" I ask hesitantly.

"I don't know who you are, but that was beautiful."

* * *

><p><strong>Oops, cliffhanger. D:<strong>


End file.
